SS is driving me nuts!
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|Sat, 03-24-2012 - 6:30pm|
So I was the main "mother" figure for SS for three years. His mother came back into the picture. Things were rocky, including court dates and constant fighting (not in front of him) between DH, BM and me. So I stepped back. Now for the last year or so things have been going pretty smoothly. Of course BM is doing things that I don't agree with and still doesn't seem to put SS as a priority in her life, but I don't say anything about it.
Over the last 1 1/2 years, SS has been acting out. He constantly praises his mom and puts her on a pedestal. If she messes up and I ask him genuinely about it he makes up excuses. Okay, I can deal with that, he's protective. But now, he has been treating me like garbage.
I can't take it. He just challenges me ALL THE TIME! I can't do anything without him acting like a butt about it. If it's not what I cook, it's that he's entitled to this and that. He is just plain mean. He makes excuses for himself and his grades all the time. He is manipulative and I honestly don't want him around.
If I weren't worried about paying stupid child support, I'd want him gone. He acts as if it's so bad here and that he'd have a better life with his mother... So why not? But if he did move we'd be paying over $300 a month, which isn't in our budget at all. And I don't want to act as if DH or I have given up on him, but then again maybe it would teach him a lesson that the grass isn't greener.
Even his grandma (DH's mom) has said he's mean. Now he's 11 years old, so I know part of it could be hormones, but not all of it. My mom told me she thinks that he's resentful of DH and I and probably feels that we have kept him away from his mom. We have never told him to hate her, not want her, or not given him to her when it's time. I honestly think she's brainwashed him and uses the "poor me" on him. For example, she's not supposed to call pass 7pm. She calls usually around 650 or so. So one day she called at 655pm and talked with him. DH was at school, so when 7pm hit, she said "well I don't want your dad to get mad at me, so I'll get off the phone now"... Really? You don't say things like that. And most likely DH wouldn't have gotten mad at her... He would've let them finish their conversation. And I don't want to step on anyone's toes, so I didn't say anything.
What should I do? I really can't even stand the fact that I have bent over backwards for this kid, given him everything he wanted and needed and he treats me so badly.