Stepdad with problems dealing with 19 year old Stepdaughter
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|Tue, 01-01-2013 - 10:22pm|
I'm a 38yo guy who is engaged to an amazing woman with 2 kids. The boy is 10, and the daughter is 19. I'm having major issues dealing with the stepdaughter. Not many problems with the boy. I once had a 12 year old son of my own, but he passed away a few years ago due to a 5 year battle with Leukemia. I'm pretty familiar with parenting of boys, but not so much with girls. Especially 19 year old girls.
My main problem with her is that she is battling depression, and it frustrates me because of all the sleeping, not contributing, and the complaining about anything that is not what she wants. To top it off her boyfriend comes into my house and basically does the same thing she does. Just lays around, doesn't clean up after himself and hides in her room all day whenever he is here. The depression stems from training for several years for a carreer (balet) that she will not be able to acheive due to problems with her joints. I realize the sadness that comes with dealing with the death of her dreams, but it's difficult for me at the same time to deal with all the issues that come with it.
Last night I went over the edge and screamed about my frustrations for about an hour while she listened from the other room. I'm not really sure how to apply damage control right now because I know an appology is not really going to be accepted, and I don't blame her. We were getting along pretty well for the last month, but the other night she overheard mom and I being intimate. She flipped out and left and texted mom that we were "dipsh*ts". It all went downhill from there because I just won't be called names in my own home by someone who does not contribute anything at all to anyone else or the household. Then the yelling the night later because she texted me early in the morning that the boyfriend would be staying over. Not asking, telling.
Not really sure what to do. She is mad at me, Mom is wondering if it's going to work and isn't very pleased, and I'm not sure how to make any of it better.