wicked SM
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wicked SM
| Sun, 09-16-2012 - 10:31pm |
So I feel a wicked stepmother moment coming on. I thought maybe somebody here could offer encouragement .....either to avoid it...or do it BIG...lol.
BM called DH yesterday because she wanted to drop something off for SD (not all the kids, just SD). Turns out it was a bag of cookies. She used to do this kind of thing all the time when I first married DH. I finally asked him to ask her to stop as it was almost every day we had the kids (50/50) and it did stop for a long time but for last couple of months she has been dropping off things, asking us to send kids to care for her pets on our time, scheduling haircuts, etc on our time. She has daily contact via phone when kids are here and we accomodate BM "events" that fall on DH's time with them but I find the "drop by" and scheduling on our time intrusive. Not only that, how are the rest of the kids (hers and mine) to feel when only one gets a treat?! I am so tempted to throw the cookies away or not allow them to be eaten and send them back unopened.
Ok, I am done ranting about the small stuff.
BM called DH yesterday because she wanted to drop something off for SD (not all the kids, just SD). Turns out it was a bag of cookies. She used to do this kind of thing all the time when I first married DH. I finally asked him to ask her to stop as it was almost every day we had the kids (50/50) and it did stop for a long time but for last couple of months she has been dropping off things, asking us to send kids to care for her pets on our time, scheduling haircuts, etc on our time. She has daily contact via phone when kids are here and we accomodate BM "events" that fall on DH's time with them but I find the "drop by" and scheduling on our time intrusive. Not only that, how are the rest of the kids (hers and mine) to feel when only one gets a treat?! I am so tempted to throw the cookies away or not allow them to be eaten and send them back unopened.
Ok, I am done ranting about the small stuff.
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It sounds like your husband needs to have another talk with her about boundaries and that she needs to knock this crap off! I can't believe that she would just bring over a treat for one of the kids, that's pretty rude. I would open up the bags and hand them out to everyone, regardless of her wishes. If she doesn't like it, than you can send them back to her unopened the next time. You are being the wicked SM at all, she's crossing boundaries. Good luck!
I agree that your DH needs to tell her that she shouldn't drop things off unless it's a real emergency item (forgotten medication or something for school). Certainly the DD could wait until she got home to eat cookies! That's nutty. If it was a bag of cookies, I would certainly open it and give it to everyone and if DD and/or BM said anything, I'd say that we don't have food that is just for one person in your house--we share things.
Melissa
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This happens in our house too, with some exceptions.
If SD gets candies/cookies sent to her from her mother, she is very gracious and she shares. I suppose if she didn't share the treat, it would be kept up on a shelf in a bag and would go back to her mother's home with her.
If SD gets to go out somewhere special with her mom, her mother is completely entitled to do that. I just explain to my kids that SD goes to special places with her mom, jsut like they go to special places with me. DH never withholds the kids from BM even on his time and vice versa.
If BM's calling and scheduling is excessive, your DH is completely in the right to say "no, sorry, can't do it".