Would you celebrate the holidays with your SO's ex?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Would you celebrate the holidays with your SO's ex?
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 4:00pm

If your stepkids wanted to spend Christmas with both their dad and mom, would it work in your situation where you could all be together?  Do you think it's a good idea, or do the kids need to get used to the fact that their parents aren't together anymore?

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001

I think each situation is unique...

It also depends on the ages of the kid's maybe and whether or not both parents have a new or another SO.

It is has for kid's when their parents separate and/or divorce but you can make it work.

New rouutines and/or traditions.

Expectations to may change, it may not be "Perfect"...the first anything is hard, very difficult...

Unfortunately my ex opted out of our kid's lives but his great-grand-mother didn't or his brother.

I LOST my Mom at Christmas time many years ago and miss her in my kid's lives.

They were both very young when she died and when their dad and I separated/divorced.

He re-married but I did not. He also left her and her son from a previous relationship.

My dd was born at Christmas-time!

What a wonderfully precious gift as is her younger brother my "Son-shine"...;)...

Celebrate in the way which works for you...

Merry Christmas!...:)...




I had our kid's usually Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and he took them Christmas Day sometimes Boxing Day.

He didn't really access his visitation rights and sadly was not really actively involved.

His choice, his LOSS...

You make New Memories...:)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I was just listening to my local radio DJ who is married to his 3rd wife.  He has 1 adult DD w/ 1st DW and 3 DDs (teens) w/ 2nd DW.  He mentioned that last night there was a family dinner w/ his oldest DD (who was visiting from out of state) at his house w/ DD's BF, his ex, her DH & his DW and how they all get along really well.

I have also done this--the past couple of years, my ex BIL and SIL have invited me to Christmas eve dinner w/ my ex's family, which includes his 2nd DW--I get along really well w/ ex's family & it really wasn't awkward at all.  I was invited this year but instead of having it on Christmas eve they had it a couple of weeks earlier & I was busy.

I don't really think that being together one one day will make the kids think you are going to get back together.  In a lot of ways if the parents can get along, it's much easier for the kids being able to celebrate a holiday w/ both parents.