Would you still spend time w/ ur stepkid
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|Sat, 03-06-2010 - 4:35pm|
Hi everyone. I'm new here, so sorry if I posted this to the wrong board. Also, i'm not familiar with the abbreviations used on here, so please bear with me.
I was wondering, if you and ur s/o were to divorce, would you still spend time with ur ex-stepkids? My mom was married to a man from the time I was 4 until I was 24. Around the time they divorced, I had a baby. He came to the hospital to see the baby, and then sent a "Happy Mother's Day" text about 6 months later, but i never heard from him again. I am now 26, and I can say that even though I never really bonded with this man, it does hurt a little that someone who i grew up in the same household with doesn't speak to me anymore since he's not with my mother. And I'm an adult, so its not like he'd have to contact my mother in order to contact me.
On the other hand, my mom spends an extensive amount of time with his kids (her ex-stepkids). She texts/ talks to them regularly, drives 4 hours to pick them up and visit her for weeks on end, requests that they spend Christmas with her, goes out of her way to see them on their birthdays, etc. My mom is in a new relationship, but she still talks regularly to her ex in order to see his kids. However, i suspect that he will soon get tired of her coming around, because he is also in a new relationship, and his gf has a problem with my mom still being a part of the picture. Also, the new gf has a child, so they probably want to create their own new blended family. Both my mom and the kids would be extremely hurt.
I was wondering, which is appropriate? Cutting off the s/kids because you are no longer married to their parent? Or spending just as much time w/ them even though things have changed? Which is more detrimental to them?
*Edit* Ok, maybe I should have posted this under stepfamilies & divorce...sorry!
Edited 3/6/2010 4:46 pm ET by mom_faith08