Need help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Need help!
6
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:11am

Hi everyone. I have not been to ivillage in a while, but I am at my wits end! I only have 4 kids, but am posting here because with more there must be more mess! My kids ages are 14, 13, 11, and 8. I am having trouble with them cleaning up after themselves! I am truly beginning to think that I have raised little pigs! I need some tips on how to get them to pick up after themselves and clean their own rooms! Especially with school getting out in 2 days and they'll be home all the time!

Also, when they have friends over, the friends treat our home very disrespectfully. I don't know how to handle other people's children. I want our house to be inviting, but I don't want to spend all summer cleaning up after other people's children too!

Any help would be great before I lose my mind! ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2002
In reply to: 1boy3girls2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:52am

I think kids get in the habit of not cleaning up after themselves, but you can still get them back into the habit.

Martie, wife to one fabulous man and mom to 8 amazing children
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: 1boy3girls2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:48am

First of all WELCOME!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
In reply to: 1boy3girls2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 5:19pm

I also don't do any rewards for cleaning.

Michelle
SAHM, Homecooking, Knitting, Sewing, Crafty, Homeschooling,  Crazy Mama to:
Tabitha (12-20

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
In reply to: 1boy3girls2000
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 1:15pm

Ok, first of all I want to say that my kids are WAY younger than yours so what works for me might not work for you, but here it is.
When I start dinner I tell the kids to go and clean their rooms and they can't come to the table until they are done. If they pitch a fit I tell them to get in their beds until dinner is ready and I will clean it up for them while they watch. And then here I come with my bag or bucket and I will keep everything I have to pick up :o) It only takes a few minutes to throw everything that's on the floor and bed in a bag or bucket. Then I keep it in my room for 2 weeks. Make sure they get their laundry in the laundry basket or it's not washed. Every now and again I'll go in their rooms and dump everything out and help them reorganize. Maybe you could go and get some storage bins or buckets for your kids and help them get it under control and then make them maintain it. My daughters have those huge rolling underbed, wooden storage bins that we got with their bunk beds. The boys have some of those flimsy laundry type buckets that have the 2 handles that you can carry. Down in the family room and playroom I have a 45 gallon storage bucket that holds all of the stuffed animals and dolls. It works great because they all fit in there. I also have some of those collapsable fabric kids' laundry baskets that we have all of the balls, dress up clothes and things like that in. That way if I don't need the baskets at the time I can fold them up and put them away.
I also make them put stuff away when they are done with it. No leaving crap all over the house that they aren't playing with. If my daughter is done making a craft or coloring then she needs to put it away.

As long as they do it every day they will keep it maintained. And if they know that they are going to be required to pick it up EVERY day they will be less apt to make as big of a mess.
I also make sure that friends help clean before they leave and tell my kids that whatever isn't clean when the friends leave will be their responsibility. They also know that when their friends are breaking rules they are responsible for them. They either need to tell them to stop or they need to tell me and I will tell their friend to stop. If your kids' friends are disrespectful of your home then I would tell them that they are welcome to visit as long as they behave and are respectful of your things but that if they can't do that then they can visit your kids outside in the yard. Sometimes if we are going to have a bunch of kids over I'll put a bunch of toys and stuff (legos, stuffed animals) away so it can't be strewn all over. This is where lock on the closets are great! Put it in there and lock it up so they can only play with what you want them to.
Anyways, I hope this helps,
Best Wishes,
Jennifer
Mom to Ainsley 5, Peyton 3 (angelman.org), foster boys 3 and 1 and maybe baby soon.

Jennifer

Ainsley 8, William 7, Peyton 6 *8p23.1 duplication syndrome*,  and Jackson 4. www.onever

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: 1boy3girls2000
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 11:24pm
I so agree with the PP!! If they won't pick it up it's gone :) my kids have all learned this the hard way,after loosing alot of toys they are finally seeing that mommy means it! we also do the once or twice a month dumping everything out and sorting through toys. we get rid of broken stuff and set aside things they don't want or play with any more for good will or garage sale. we have *house rules* that everyone must abide by or else things get taken away,like no cartoons,video games,bikes etc.. we enforce them when the neighbor kids come over as well,you can not have disrespectful kids in your house! I can't believe that the friends are like that,you really need to sit your kids down and have a family meeting. You can all decide together what the rules should be and then what the punishment will be when they get broken. By involving the kids they are actually more apt to follow them! But you will have to be tough and stay consistant!! Don't let things slide cause you don't want to get after someone elses kids,if they are in your house than they follow your rules KWIM? GL and come back and let us know what you have done!


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Avatar for kimmykay
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: 1boy3girls2000
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 9:45pm

at the beginning of their summer break we sat down and I had a list of things to do that would be their jobs. My oldest Dd, Catherine (9 yo) chose laundry (and she is better at it than me!). Ds, Andrew (12) chose trash duty and general trash pick up. Georgia (6 yo) chose general toy pick up and dumping recycling. Charlotte (3 yo) helps with the others and helps pick up books.

If they want a friend over they HAVE to clean their room. Also, I think if the kids show repect to the house their friends will AND let the kids know... have your friends help clean up any mess or you do it yourself after they are gone. Bet it gets done or they will not make a mess at all. LOL.

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