I'm curious if anyone has any insight into this.
Ah, yes, the power struggles of a 4 year old - remember those well.
Just wondering if it could be the "terrible threes" stage? I know for us, ds was a piece of cake until he turned 3 then about midway through his third year I couldn't help thinking, "Who is this kid?!?!" I thought I was so lucky that the terrible twos seemed to pass us by, but then the threes hit us with a vengeance. For ds, it was ALL about power and control. Everything was his way or the highway. And, as with your daughter, even if we did what he asked, often he would still have a meltdown! It was as if he understood he now had choices and could vocalize them, but didn't really know what he wanted or fully understand the consequences of his choices.
What worked for us was limiting choices to two or three at the most and just rolling through the tantrums that sometimes followed. We also tried hard to choose our battles. For example, ds went through a two month phase where all he wanted to wear was sweats or track pants, even to bed. Anything else felt "itchy." For us, it was not a battle worth fighting -
Thanks for your reply and your thoughts, Sharon!
It's totally just the age, Jodi!