Question for "only" moms! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
Question for "only" moms! :)
6
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 7:44pm
Hi, there,
I am not a mom yet, but if all goes well, will be in December. :) My husband and I are both onlies, and we have had multiple discussions about how many kids. We are choosing to have one child, for a wide variety of reasons. We feel logically and emotionally that it is best for us. Unfortunately, with both of ua being only in our mid twenties, we are getting a lot of backlash... Anyone else know ahead of time that one would be best and have to fight about it? Sorry for any typos, my phone isn't the easiest to type on. :)
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 7:53pm
Yep - we knew. I'm an only as well, and had no problems with it; enjoyed it, have lots of friends (even two real good ones since childhood). But I didn't have to fight about it as obviously my parents were ok with it. DH's family (he's 3rd of 8) weren't quite as convinced we should stop then, but thankfully dh just told them they could have as many as THEY wanted, and that seemed to quiet them. (I wanted 1 or 2; he wanted 0 or 1 due to heart problems and he didn't want to saddle me with a lot financially if he passed young) DS is now 18 and I don't think he's any worse for wear - if nothing else now that he's in (private) college, it makes me feel good that we could provide for his tuition to the school he wanted to attend - there would've been no way if we'd had more than one.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 7:58pm
That is a huge part of why we want one. We both received the best from our parents (hubby is a private college grad too!), and we want to do the same for our child. In schooling, giving him or her attention, trips, etc!
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 8:07pm
As I've said before, I've got two SILs who had two of the same gender (one had 2 girls, the other 2 boys) and they said (when the kids were younger) they were always pestered for when are they going to try for the other gender. People are nosy, when honestly it's up to what is right for your family - whether it's zero or 8 or more. Unless those people are going to help raise the kids, why is it any of their business what's right for your family?! Be comfortable with your decision (whether it's one or more) and just let that kind of stuff bounce off.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 9:18am

I didn't do any planning round numbers!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 2:45pm
Well, I've been raising kids since I was a kid- I've taken care of my three boy cousins for a very long time... So I don't particularly want to do the multiple kids thing after having to deal with multiple children in the past- I literally made their food, bought their school supplies, uniforms etc... So I know how expensive it gets. Plus I haaaate being pregnant thus far, as I have fibromyalgia and apparently the two dont play well together... Not fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 11:45pm

I get some backlash at work because my son is now two and people think now would be a good time to have another one. In my heart I know that we are doing what is right for our family.