Trying to decide....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Trying to decide....
14
Sun, 01-02-2011 - 9:23pm

I know I probably should be putting this in the "deciding to try" message board, but most of the people there are deciding WHEN to try......and

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 8:31am

I'm an only (51) and ds18 is an only by choice - dh is 3rd of 8; his dad passed at 54 having held down 3 jobs at times to keep everyone going.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 8:33am
Also wanted to add yes, we've had no issues letting ds do what he's wanted to over the years, including now being in a private college (there would be no way we could afford where he's going for two kids). We've traveled, he's been in scouts (Eagle), many camps and art classes and other extracurriculars over the years without it pushing us, plus we could attend any/all we wanted vs. splitting time with more than one child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2001
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 3:34pm

Hi there,

My only is 11-1/2 years old.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 7:33pm

I didn't decide to only have one, nature has decided it for me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Tue, 01-04-2011 - 3:26pm

Thank you all.

For those of you who are only's/married onlys it's nice to know you have not felt a lack of a support system when you are older (even though having a sibling doesn't guarantee you have one....it is often a concern).

Nathaniels Mom......I'm sorry you haven't been able to have another, but am glad it is okay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 8:09pm

My situation is pretty different.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 8:15am

Hi,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 8:23am

I just read your latest reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:13pm
I will be 36 soon, so we have a couple years, but I don't want to be having another one at 40.....I was 32 when I had DS. I'm sure not right now is the right answer....but it would be nice to know for sure! The sibling thing makes me feel guilty even though I know several cases where the siblings weren't much help in family issues, but it is all I've known.....so even though I probably shouldn't feel guilty I do! I'm glad I'm not the only one. = ) Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2008
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:17pm
Thank you! I'm really struggling with what feels right.....money aside, there is coping with the first 2 years or so when sleep is especially an issue (I realize for some kids it is much less than that, but we had lots of issues for a LONG time and that makes me very cranky!). But then there is the guilt of what if he is one of the kids that wants a sibling instead of one of the ones that doesn't mind not having one? My old boss is an only, and I asked him the other day and he said he would not do that if he had kids. I thought, Thanks! Not what I wanted to hear at all. But I suppose some kids love it, some don't. I just wish I knew what type my son would be in advance. It's too bad they don't come with instruction manuals! Either that, or I wish I had a stronger sense of what is right for us......So thank you so much for sharing! Hearing other stories helps me with perspective.

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