Unhappy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2007
Unhappy
6
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:44pm
I'm not happy where we're living. I really want to move back to my hometown. It's hard having an only child. We don't have any friends to hang out with. People are snobs here. My son doesn't have any cousins of the same age either and he is by himself most of the time. I feel bad, but I get so sick of trying to plan playdates. I can't afford to sign him up for day camp this year. It's always just me & him. I know this doesn't sound nice, but sometimes I wish I wouldn't have had him and feel like sending him to live with his uncle or someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
In reply to: goddessmommy1
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 7:33pm

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down... how old is your only? How long have you lived in your new place? Why did you move there, away from your hometown? Is it an option to move back?

I know firsthand how hard it is to meet people. I've lived here for almost 6 years and while I know a lot of people and have many acquaintance type friends, I still don't really feel like I have a "good" girlfriend. I feel like it has been easiest to meet people now that DD is a bit older (3.5) and we can go to activities where there are other kids her age and other moms.

I agree it does get hard to plan playdates and try to "find" something for your child to do all the time.

Photobucket
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-1999
In reply to: goddessmommy1
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 11:30pm

First, (((hugs))). I'm sorry you're feeling down. I hope it's just an funk and passes quickly. It sounds to me like you need a little "me time" to recharge your battery.

I hear you on snobby towns. We've lived here 9 years and I have 2 friends who are so busy that I rarely see them. I recently bought some friends-lol-by joining a group called Mothers and More. It's $45 for the year and they have playdates, book clubs, mom's nights out and meetings. I work so I don't get to go to the majority of the playdates. Does your library offer any activities? Did you look into any vacation Bible schools? A lot of them might be over but you never know. Check out meetup.com and yahoo groups to see if someone has a playgroup in your area. If your heart can handle it, volunteer to walk some pups at the humane society. Or call the United Way and ask for some kid friendly volunteer projects.

For me, one of the best parts of having only 1 is the portability. We do a lot of stuff just my daughter and I'm grateful I only have to keep an eye on 1 kiddo in a crowd. I've been trying to mix it up by going to different parks. I've run into a lot of not so wonderful parents but have managed to chat with a few nice ones.

Good luck and keep your chin up.

Photobucket
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
In reply to: goddessmommy1
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 9:15am

I'm sorry things are hard for you right now. It's hard for me to meet people, too. Have you considered joining a MOMS Club? Our local club is $25 per year. They always have lots of fun activities for the kids and a monthly moms' night out. All of the ladies are great, and they really are a pretty diverse group. Each month I'd get a calendar full of play dates (free), weekly coffee meet-ups (free except for coffee), fun trips to places like the fire station or a park (mostly free). They even had a fitness group that met twice a week for a morning walk. Everything on the calendar was kid-friendly, except for the moms' nights out. Here's a link to the International MOMS Club: http://www.momsclub.org. There is a list of local chapters by state. If you don't see one in your area, you can e-mail them to find out if there's one in your area. The list on the site itself isn't complete (my group isn't listed, and I know they exist).

You should check with your library about children's programs, too. Ours posts a calendar each month, and I've found that story time is a great place to meet other moms and kids. Our library has a play area where it's OK to be a little bit loud, so I'll bring the kids and let them have a play date with whoever else is there. Sometimes it leads to friendships, and it doesn't even take any coordinating on my part.

Meetup.com is a great suggestion, too. A lot of the groups around here have used meetup.com to get the word out.

How old is your little guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: goddessmommy1
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 10:26am

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry you're having a rough time right now. How long have you lived there? How old is your son?

Meeting people and finding the right "fit" not just with the kids, but with the moms as well, can be really hard, so don't think it's just you. I would definitely look into any mom's groups that might be in the area, and check the library, childrens museums, the Y, and the park and rec department. All of those usually have lots of free (or cheap) group activities and are great places to meet other moms. Anytime you see your son interacting with and having fun with another child, speak up and ask the mom if she'd like to get together at the park next week, etc. I know it can feel awkward...it's not my favorite thing to do either, believe me. And I totally agree that setting up playdates gets really old after a while, but it's something I have always had to do because we live in a semi-rural area with no other kids close enough that my son could just run outside and play (not a typical neighborhood setting where the neighbor kids can play together).

Hang in there, I bet it will get better. Please stick around and let us know how it's going. We are here for support if you need us!

Photobucket

Photobucket
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2007
In reply to: goddessmommy1
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 2:50pm

He's 7 yrs old. He's never had any sleepovers either. I'll take your suggestions and see how it goes.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
In reply to: goddessmommy1
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 3:57pm
Sorry you're not feeling happy right now.
Photobucket