were you an only?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
were you an only?
7
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 3:42pm

Hi,

I am curious what it was like to be an only child?

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 8:26pm
I'm an only. Gosh, I don't know what to say. I liked it; I didn't know differently. My parents' families were local; we spent time with them most weekends either as a visit, or later to help them as they aged or got sick.. I had very close friends throughout childhood, and still have a couple of those now, albeit we're not in the same place any more I liked being alone at times too, so not having sibs was fine with me. I loved being in my room alone - no tv (not at that time)! but I had a radio and record player, art supplies, books, etc. so it was my haven. But I also did play with my best friends daily if at all possible. I am/was not outgoing and was a bookworm, but was in 22 activities in high school. A lot of it is personality, not being an 'only'. DS18 is an only and he also loves his private time but also has some very close friends and now a very close girlfriend!

I moved away after college; commuted from home for college, but then went away for grad school and had a couple months back home before I had a 'real' job but then was 300 miles from home. I called 2x/week while in grad school and then later during life. I lost both my parents 3 years ago - we were always very close. The hardest thing was to be THE one taking care of everything once they passed (still working on selling the house) but then I've heard that's common enough for one sibling in families with more than one.

Tips - get your ds active in lots of things, let him figure out what makes him tick, provide play dates or sleepovers or whatever makes you guys comfortable - really, just the same as you'd do if you had more than one.

DS says his biggest complaint is that dh and I concentrate on everything he does, vs. if he had sibs he wouldn't have as much 'pressure' as it'd be spread around. I'd think a lot of that is from being a teen/young adult and wanting to do things his way vs. getting guidance sometimes...but then he's not me or dh; he has a much more laid back personality, which is just very different than we are. Again, I think a lot of that is personality vs. being an only (dh is 3rd of 8 and is more like me).

If you have something specific, feel free to ask - this was just pretty much random thoughts!

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 5:02am
I'm not an only but my two best friends through university were. I don't remember them ever commenting on it and they both had quite different personalities and experiences. They were both very good friends, I was the bridesmaid at both their wedding and I'm still in touch with them 35 years later. They have gone on to have two and three children.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2001
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 5:22pm

I was not an Only, but my brother was 11 years older than me.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Thu, 06-02-2011 - 11:20pm

So sorry for your loss.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Fri, 06-03-2011 - 11:22am
I know how you feel as far as the sudden loss goes, as you know, and also for being THE one dealing with everything, albeit my time with that for my dad was very short 3 years ago...but still dealing with all the estate issues. Hugs, Amy.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 10:14am
(((hugs))) I'm so sorry for your family's loss, Amy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 10:34pm

I am an only child, my husband was an only child, and now our son is an only child. We have a really small family, but none of us has a problem with it because we are used to it. Growing up, I always wished for brothers and sisters...I wanted to live with the Brady Bunch. But alas, it did not happen. My son has never had a problem being an only. In fact, he relishes it. Only child, only grandchild....he loves the attention with no competition!

Lacey