8yo and responsibilties

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
8yo and responsibilties
13
Thu, 10-02-2008 - 3:51pm
I need encouragement. I am yelling almost everyday and my 8yo daughter.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 2:48pm
No problems at school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 3:14pm

Thank you so much for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 3:45pm

My daughter is 9yo and we have been going through the same thing for the last year or so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 4:22pm

That is so funny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 5:06pm

:) I'm sure her teacher will tell you all of her wonderful qualities but then again she gets to send her home to you at the end of the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Fri, 10-03-2008 - 9:07pm

Okay, I have got to share this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Sat, 10-04-2008 - 1:23am

>Does anyone else have this problem at age 8?

My daughter will be 10 in January and we still have these problems. She has an alarm clock but either turns it off or sleeps right through it, so I have to get her out of bed, and then it's a constant stream of "Get dressed, brush your teeth, put on your shoes, blah, blah, blah." If I left it up to her, she'd still be in her pajamas when it was time to leave for school every morning. As for forgetting things, she does remember to turn her homework in, but often leaves something at school that she needs to do it in the first place (math book, spelling list). I don't think she's the only one, though; her teacher this year says that a lot of fourth-graders are still trying to figure out the whole responsibility thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2008
Sat, 10-04-2008 - 10:07am

First of all, stop yelling. It makes you feel bad and your daughter feel bad. It does not do anyone any good. Stop yelling. Next put the responsibility back on your daughter. If she does not turn in her homework she will get a consequence at school. If she leaves her reading book at school she will not be able to do her homework and again a consequence at school. If she forgets her dance bag she will not be able to dance. Another idea is to talk to her. "You seem to leave important things at school or home. " (Leave space for her to talk) "What can you do to help yourself remember?" See what she says. Some ideas could be a checklist by the door that she checks. If the space by lotion is empty she will know to put it on. Enlist the teacher too. She can ask your daughter for her homework and at the end of the day make sure that she has all of her things. As grown ups we have blackberries, assistants, alarms on our phones that go off as reminders yet we expect kids to remember all of their things all on their own. But most of all stop yelling. Parents and adults speak to children in ways they would NEVER speak to other people in their lives and in ways they would not except for themselves. When parents yell they teach their children to yell, they are also chipping away at self esteem. You say yelling is not working. It is time to stop and try something new. It will make your daughter AND yourself feel better.

I would love to hear how things work out.
Brandi

Brandi Davis
Child And Family Coaching
Sign up now for your complementary 30 minute Parent Coaching Session
(p) 215-805-7494
(f ) 707-885-7494
www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
bdavis@childandfamilycoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family
Brandi Davis Child And Family Coaching Sign up now to reserve your space at our FREE Parenting Q&A Conference call. Email bdavis@childandfamilycoaching.com for details. (p) 215-805-7494 (f ) 707-885-7494 www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com bdavis@childandfamil
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 11:22am
How wonderful!!! Some of the brightest people are scattered in other regards, perhaps they just have too much going on in their head :).

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 10:28am

Coach Brandi, I loved every thing you said. It made a lot of sense. All I can say is..."I'll try"

Pages