Awkward Aversion

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2012
Awkward Aversion
3
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 2:15pm

Hey guys!

I just married a wonderful man who has an 8 year old with severe ADHD which is well-controlled with medication.

Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 11:48am

First off, I think you are doing a great job- it sounds like you're doing everything you can. With that said, I think you should consider getting him into counseling. There's absolutely no shame in it and lots of kids nowadays see a therapist for ADHD alone. Seeing that you step-son has ADHD PLUS a past history of being abused, I definitely think therapy could help.

Hang in there and please stick around to give us updates and/or vent anytime!!

Lisa

Avatar for melissamc
Community Leader
Registered: 03-22-2007
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 11:45am
First off, I want to say that I'm glad that he has someone that cares so much about him in his life now.

I agree with Lisa that he probably needs to be seeing a psychologist. It sounds like he has some really big issues to deal with, and they can give you some guidance. My oldest is ADHD, and we learned some great parenting techniques from his psychologist. I'm not sure who evaluated him for ADHD, but did they happen to say if he has any other disorders? A lot of times ADHD has comorbids that can play into their behavior, so there could be something else going on with him besides ADHD and PTSD.

Have you thought about trying a rewards system? It sounds like it could be some type of control issue, so maybe by focusing on the positive and giving him the choice will make him more willing to give it up. I hate to even think it, but is it possible there is some hidden abuse you don't know about? I feel so bad for him for what he's gone through, sending you both lots of (((HUGS))).

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2012
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 2:33pm
Thanks for the feedback and encouragement, guys. I'm beginning to think that it really is a control issue, and I think the repeated intrusion of the behavior and the emotional response to having to change it was linked to the stress of the wedding, me being pregnant with my first baby (which I'm sure made me SO compassionate and understanding), and the fact that we just found out his biological mom is probably about to pass away after many, many years of hardcore drug abuse (including during her pregnancy with him). His world has been kind of upside down lately and he's really been very good about it. I'm trying to find more ways to give him control, and it seems to be helping, along with lots of positive attitudes and affirmation. He is doing MUCH better with several other issues we have had, so maybe this will fade away. We are looking at counseling, as well.
Thanks again for the encouragement and ideas!
Erin