Buying clothes then DD won't wear them
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| Sat, 11-22-2008 - 1:47pm |
I tacked this onto other post but thought I would devote and entire thread to this. My daughter (almost 9) and I are in constant battle over clothes. I have learned to let her make choices but I money is too tight in our house to be buying clothes she then decides she doesn't like, don't fit, feel "weird", etc. I've tried taking her shopping and letting her pick out things and try them on. I've asked her to make pinky swear promise she will wear what we buy, I've tried to explain that clothes are too expensive to just waste. It doesn't seem to matter. I end up losing my temper when she pulls the same dirty clothes out of the hamper and wearing them over and over and leaving the new things in the drawer until they are too small or worse, wearing them once and then deciding she doesn't like them and so I can't take them back.
My husband thinks I'm over-reacting but he doesn't know how expensive it is. She wears things that are too small and so skorts are so short her bottom hangs out. I've tried to clamly explain that is not appropriate. Two weeks ago we went to Justice and bought her two new outfits. They were expensive but I agreed. Day after day she did not wear them so I knew what was coming. First she said she was waiting until it was colder. Then she said she was waiting until it was warmer. Then today she said she didn't like the way they fit. I told her I was returning them because I was not going to waste over $100 on clothes she would not wear. She threw a crying fit and said she would wear them later.
I'd like her to have nice things but I am sick to death of the whole subject. Any advice?
Jenny
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Hi Jenny,
I think you need to step up and be the authority figure.
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Vanessa
More Than You Ever Wanted to Know
I too would take out the clothes that are not the right size or the right season. I like a pp way of saying "this is the last time you will be wearing that" for things that are not the right size that got missed in the purge.
My dd has a problem with pants and finds many of them to be too uncomfortable to keep on for long periods. We've compromised by having more leggings that she can wear under tunic tops and skirts or dresses when it is cool. I also have her check out the insides of pants and honestly tell me if she finds them comfortable. If she is iffy, I don't get them.
As frustrating as it is to have bought clothes that she won't wear has she been able to calmly explain to you what it is she doesn't like about the ones she is refusing to wear? Both of you would have to stay calm and she would have to say more than its the size. Sometimes clothes have seams in the wrong place or are lined so that they itch when you have them on for more than a short time. Both of those things could be solved on tops or dresses by simply wearing a light cotton t-shirt or camisole underneath. If its because the pants ride up or something else about the fit, you and she can take note and then next time you/she comes across a cute outfit that is cut that way you can remember that it doesn't wear well and move on. If its because she saw someone she doesn't like wearing the outfit or because someone made a comment on it. You both need to find another way to address her not wanting to wear the outfit any more.
And I'm going to repeat the advice giving that if you find a top or pants that she likes and will wear, get a few of them in different colors. Heck it might be worth it to get two in the same color, just so she isn't digging through the dirty clothes for a shirt.
JOANNE
maman2goons@yahoo.com
you know those cute lil tops that everyone is wearing that have the seam right under the breasts and then billow out? i bought my dd 1 of those-and only 1. she liked about 3 of them. (same style, different design)im glad i only bought one-the seam is itchy. shes never worn the 1 she has for more than 5 minutes. it looks adorable on, but is very uncomfortable...
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com