Did I over step ????? (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Did I over step ????? (long)
12
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 9:06am

My 3rd grade ds (8) goes to a small Catholic school. There are 8 boys in his class and 4 girls. One boy was having a birthday party last night. A big pool party sleep over in the camper in the bacvk yard. Lots of games and such.


Invites went out 3 weeks ago and

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 9:24pm
I don't think you were wrong to do what you did. I would have probably felt and behaved the same way if I were in that position. I think it was completely unfair for that mother to assume that your son (or even you for that matter) wouldn't find out and be hurt by being the only one not invited. Young boys all going to the same exciting event are POSITIVELY going to be talking about it at school.
I think that she made a bad choice and put you in a bad position by talking about it later at the car with both the boys listening...what were you supposed to answer with them there, anyways...No? I think not.
Don't feel bad...not every mother thinks things through well ALL the time...maybe she just really didn't mean any harm but made bad choices.
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angels
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 12:46am

Our school policy is that all has to get in invitation or they can't be handed out at school.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 11:19am

"Confronting her in front of other moms was a good way to go about it too."


See, that's where I think the OP somewhat overstepped. Bringing it to the attention of the mom hosting the party was not wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 2:09am
I agree.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 8:35am

Oh, no, I agree that what the other mother did was terrible, and hurtful. I'm not at all suggesting she wasn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 10:02am

Just to clarify - I was completely agreeing with you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 10:38am
I wouldn't be able to do that to a child either. For one, I was frequently that kid that got left out, so I know first hand how it feels.
Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 8:25am

Hi Kim,


I have to say that I would not invite every boy in the class but one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:05pm

Hi Kim. Welcome to the board.

I don't know if you overstepped or not. I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself from saying something either to her or to another parent where she could have heard. It is very wrong to invite all but one child from among a group. There is no way the children won't talk about it and it will quickly be discovered who has been left out. If it is one, two or even three it hurts, a lot. If it is shown that only 5 of 10 kids got invited it is a bit easier to deal with.

I do think it was wrong and petty of her to bring up something that happened earlier as a reason why she left out only your son. That was just insulting after she orginally tried to lie to save face.




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 12:25pm

Hi All


I appreciate all your comments on whether I had over stepped or not. I still feel that what the other mom did was wrong and after speaking with some of the moms who were in the kitchen with me that day that we were talking about this. They all seemed to think she was brought it on her self when she carried on about my son not wanting to go to school that day.


My son had a good time at the party and said everything was fine.


Thanks everyone. What a great board.

Kim


Due ~ 12/03/08


Wife to Chris,Mommy to Ricky and expecting #2 on my birthday !!

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