iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 10:18am

HI, I am not so new to the village, however new to this board. Just found it and thought that maybe you ladies(or gentlemen) might could help me. I will try to make this as short as possible.

So I have a 9 yo ds who as ALWAYS been the epitemy of the "perfect child". Never talks back, always does what he is told, never gets in trouble( unlike his 16yo brother & 3yo sister). He does have some speech problems, which in turn has affected his reading, but has always strived and worked hard to keep his grades up. sounds great right......................

Well now the problem. He cries about everything. I dont just mean tears, I mean hysterical sobbing. Over stupid things. Like one morning he had left his bookbag in his fathers car(he had already gone to the office). so I say no problem I will write your teacher a note and let her know that your homework is done, and about the bag( extremely nice teacher). You would have thought that someone had shot him.

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Sat, 10-25-2008 - 5:47pm

It certainly puts a lot of pressure on a kid to be seen as the perfect child.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 2:07pm

Hi Corrie.

Could he be worried about not being that perfect child? Not living up to your expectations? I had a big fear as a child of disappointing the adults in my life. I really hated when I anticipated what they wanted from me the wrong way or only part of it. I was scared of failing, not doing well on tests or being considered a "bad" student. I would have been devestating to not have my homework when it was due.

That doesn't mean I find it any easier to deal with my son's mood swings. Especially when he falls apart because he left his homework at school. They get two days worth of homework on Tuesdays because they are barely in their classroom on Wednesdays (a short day with lots of specials -- music, pe, buddies). It is all due on Thursday. One Tuesday he left his history book at school so he couldn't do his worksheet. He discovered this at 5:30, an hour after the last person is at school. He fell apart. I kept saying its only Tuesday. Wasn't hearing me. Then I asked him what is the worse thing that is going to happen to you if you don't have your homework done? You get benched until it is done. Okay so you can work on it at morning recess when you are benched. But you know its only Tuesday, when is it due?

dawn190708.jpg picture by cariadlawn

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 4:11pm

Thanks guys, I am glad to know that I am not the only one that has this problem, and the suggestions are on target. However the puberty thing at almost 10 terrifies me. I think maybe we will start tonight with the nobody is "perfect" talk and go from there. Thank You so much, Corrie