Hi new and need some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2002
Hi new and need some help
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 8:55am

Hi ..my name is Nora ..

I have a 9 year old and I don't know how to handle this what do you guys think or what would you do or is this what 9 y olds do?

I have a problem here my son has this friend at school they were in

ivmy2boys-done.jpg picture by ivmy2boys

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 11:22am

I don't know how to suggest approaching the other mom. I do know that if my son was doing something like that I would want to hear about it. Because it has been continuing for a while I would consider giving the teachers a heads up especially if they are in the same class again next year. Not to step in right away but just so they could keep an eye on things.

As far as your son is concerned I would talk to him about how not everyone immediately thinks about sex when they see people touching or if they see body parts that are usually covered by a shirt. That it is not appropriate to make those kinds of comments. That it is human nature to want to touch. I would also talk to him about what he can say to ask his friend to stop and to have the courage to walk away when his friend refuses. Of course everyone is going to start looking if his friend starts making a big deal about something but I seriously doubt that they are looking and thinking what this kid is saying they are and I would keep talking and repeating this until my son started to get it. Especially working on ways and things he could say to get the kid to stop. "Of course they are looking now, you are making a big enough scene." "What ARE you talking about?" "Why would you even say that?" "How could you know that? Did they tell you?" "You know this because...?" "Not everyone's mind is in the gutter." etc.

Have you every heard this friend say anything inappropriate? I'm not doubting your son but if you do overhear something it is easier to step in at that time and tell the kid that what he just said was wrong, silly, mean and definitely inappropriate (what ever fits at the time.). That is often the most effective way to deal with these kinds of comments.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn