I am totally stressed, need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
I am totally stressed, need advice
5
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 8:06pm
I have an almost 9 y.o. boy. He is an only child. My son has absolutely no interest in sports. My husband works a very strange schedule so I am the primary person in his life. I worry that he may not be cultivating many friends because of his lack of interest in sports and other things typical boys are interested. He has a couple of friends that are over on a regular basis, one a boy and one a girl. I want him to have a few more friends but fear they are bored when they come to our house. My son seems very happy. He never complains about being lonely or not having friends. I'm sure I'm the one worrying about nothing. My question to all of you: What do boys this age like to do besides sports. I worry that he doesn't have age approriate activities that are appealing to other kids. I'm a very shy person myself so I'm terrified to just call another parent and ask about getting the boys together. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Pat

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 9:25am
Hi, Pat!

I wouldn't worry if your son doesn't like sports, I don't think it matters that much. My son is not into team sports at all, thinks they are a waste of time and he is one of the most popular kids in his school. He and his friends play outside most of the time, making up games. I do put him into swimming, which he likes. His coach said he would do well on the team, but Isaac is not interested in any teams at all.

If your son has one or two good friends, that is worth more than having a bunch of so so ones that he would make if he was a star player on the soccer team. If he is happy, don't worry. Some people are joiners and some are not.

My ds and his friends like to play video games, battle Bey Blades, play spy games outside, climb trees, duel with Yuh-Gi-Oh cards, etc. In the summer, they are at the park or pool all the time, as well as ride bikes, go inline skating, etc. In winter, they skate, curl, or go sledding. There are lots of sports type activities without being on a team to keep boys busy .

I hope this helps!

Katherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 10:40pm
This sounds like my 8 1/2 son - he is a computer guru (I hate to think of him as a nerd or geek, but he is.). He tried basketball once and hated it. He also likes to swim, could care less about football,soccer and baseball (although he does pretty well in the batting cages). He is an only child , and his cousins live 300 miles away. In the neighborhood, the only kids his age are 2 sisters (other than a couple of grandkids that visit their grandparents). They just like to ride bikes. He has a couple of close friends at school and he seems happy - so I don't rock the boat. My son is also in scouts and he likes that.
Avatar for blueskyinmaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 6:45pm
Hi, my son just started playing organized sports this past year (he was 8). He has a lot of other interests though and he has friends who do not play sports. He plays with those bionicle toys and legos and knex and reads and likes to do science experiments. he also goes outside and just goofs around. I think, if your son is happy...well if it isn't broke...If you would like more kids to come over, go ahead and call up the parents of someone your DH likes and ask them to let their child come and play for an hour or so. It seems scary, but most people are very nice and appreciate having their child invited somewhere. Best of luck to you.,

Taunya
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 9:57am
Thanks to all for your words of encouragement. At least I know I'm not alone. It's encouraging to know that there are other boys like my son. I know he's happy and I guess that's all that matters.
Avatar for beagl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 12:02am
Hmmm, what does your son gravitate to when he plays? I have 2 sons who show virtually no interest in organized sports. I LOVE team sports and my DH doesn't. He also works odd schedules and wouldn't be able to cart them around to practices or whatever. The boys run around like maniacs outside playing with Tonka trucks in the dirt, pretending they are Harry Potter or someone from StarWars, squirting each other and their baby sister with squirt guns. We have loads of balls and bats, and sometimes they play baseball or soccer. They'll play for hours if I pitch to them, but all they want to do is hit the ball, not actually play the sport. They both LOVE legos and will build for hours. They are also train and car fanatics. Hotwheels, Matchbox, you name it, they love it. They bring cars to school and trade them. Ask your son if he'd like to have a friend over and take a deep breath and call that mom. The first call is the hardest. My oldest son has only 2-3 friends he likes to play with and will only play with one at a time, my middle son has so many friends I can't keep track of them all, and is happiest when in a crowd. Follow your son' lead, not what you THINK he should be interested in. Chances are he'll surprise you! I learned ALOT about trains because my kids seemed to love them! Good Luck!!

beagl