My 8 yr old Daughter is scared....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
My 8 yr old Daughter is scared....
2
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:55am

Hi,


I am new to this board, but just recently my daughter supposedly watched a scary movie at a friends house about the devil taking over a little girl. She has been scared since to be left in a room alone. She literaly screams if you shut bedroom door at night, and it is just getting worse. We told her to go take a shower last night and she screamed and cried she didn't want to be in the room alone. We also have a 1 year old daughter, so we need to shut the door to keep her out of the bathroom, (She likes to turn the bath water on). So, we told her we needed to shut the door and she was screaming and almost hyperventalating. I have never seen her act like this before.


Last night I tried to get her to calm down and explain to me what she is scared of, and I tried to reensure her that nothing was going to happen to her. I told her to pray if she got scared. Well, in the middle of night she was at my bed side scared again, I just told her to go to bed. It is just getting exasperating.


I am also pregnant with my 3rd child. I just feel she is at an age where she can do more for herself without us in the room with her, and she has been doing up until now.


Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


Thank you,


Patricia

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:15pm

Hello, Im a lurker, and thought I would just let you know how we handle the scary movie situation in our home. Im not sure if its right, but so far its worked. My oldest is 10, and she has a great love for scary movies. Will watch just about any movie made, and she gets the heebie jeebies at times, but keeps watching them. NOT me.. Im a big scaredy cat. But from when my DD was about 3 or 4 I started explaining the way TV and Movies work. That, they are not real, they are made with actors, and that at the end of a scary part, they get up and walk away. We have explained that movies are made simply for enjoyment, and excitement. Its simply entertainment. And even at 4 she would repeat to me.. "its Only a movie right??" And I would say, yes. Now I wont say that they dont have any nightmares.. Everyone does. Heck even I do. My 8yr old SD was having a problem with this, she would go home and wake up with Nightmares, so we refused her watching anything that could be close to being scary. We felt like she was too young to handle it.. But she will beg and plead. So we had the same talk with her again. And we still dont let her watch a scary movie before bed, but she has managed to work thru that fear. We told her its normal to be afraid, But Nothing is going to happen. We have shown them that There is nothing under the bed, nothing in the closet.. Nothing is going to pop out. I just felt, for us.. We had to tell them, that Its ok to be afraid.. and then show them.. there is nothing to be afraid about.


BTW, since my older children watch scary movies... my 2 year old has started watching them.. And she runs.. screaming.. Scary, Scary.. and will hide. I pull her out of hiding.. and say.. there is nothing to be afraid about.. Its just a movie, and you can not be hurt. So she will sit there on my lap and watch the movie.. No nightmares.. so thats a good thing. So far..


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&n

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 3:40pm

Do you know which movie it was she watched? If you do you can show her pictures of the actress who played the girl in the movie and how it was all just pretend. We talk about how people sometimes try to "boo" you and that it is all just fun and pretend. When we went through the Haunted House at Disneyland with Lindsay we had her looking for all the places they would try to trick you into being scared. I'm sure the people behind me were not happy that I was talking and showing her all the fake stuff but I figured they would have liked it less if she got scared and started screaming and crying. We've also talked about how people find it fun to be scared but if they don't, its okay.

How is your priest or pastor or deacon (I don't know what you call your religious leader)? Would he or she be open to talking to your dd about how it is just a movie and people make choices to open themselves up to the devil/evil just like they make choices to open themselves up to God? Would he or she be willing to "place a blessing" on her? Or would a cross or religious medalion help her feel safer when she's alone?