oooops, MY bad...RRRRR

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
oooops, MY bad...RRRRR
4
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 4:51pm

I have been a lurker for some time now and finally have a need to post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 5:46pm

Oh, I hate when my kids decide to share stuff they are not suppose to.

One of my son's friends is not someone I like him hang out with too often. The kid brags, tells lies and will often try to make my son feel dumb. He is insecure. He is advanced in reading but just a little bit above average in other areas. Philip is pretty smart, just talks way too much. Philip tends to not realize how smart he is in comparison to others and if it ever comes to his attention that someone is behind in a subject his reaction is that people are not helping him learn the stuff, not that the kid isn't smart enough to learn it. That is not the other kid's reaction -- he will be vocal about how much further along he is and why can't they figure it out, its easy. I've called him on his lies. I've corrected him when I've heard him belittling other kids. I've talked to my son about how you don't discuss grades with other kids because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings if they didn't do as well as you did (and the reverse could be true). I've had conversations about how this kid is insecure and he is taking it out on others by trying to make them feel bad about themselves. Because of this interaction that I can't quite stop I have asked the teachers to not put them in a class together. I know when he moves to middle school I won't have that option but by then I hope my son will be better able to make the right choices and won't buy into what this kid is saying. I didn't tell my son that I asked for that because I don't want him sharing it with either the kid or the kid's mom (who would like them to be in a class together as she doesn't see this as a problem).

If the mom pushes me to find out why we are not making time for play dates I'll be telling her that they are not making good choices when they are together right now so they need some time apart outside of school.

What did you end up telling her when she called you about having her dd come over?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 12:30pm

Sorry it took me a while to get back...


I told her last Saturday that "my husband is in a fishing tournament and since the weather is bad I will be really waiting for his call...either when he gets back at the dock or if he runs into terrible weather"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 2:43pm

Based on what you posted, I'd say she knows but doesn't want to admit it. Makes you wonder if she picked up the habit from her husband and occasionally realizes she's acting borish.

My friend has not called since last week and she just wanted to chat then. She didn't even mention the boys not being in class together and didn't bring up play dates or any get togethers as a family. I'm relieved because I don't know if I want to have to explain things to her when she should already know what her son is like.

Hopefully your dd is getting better about not talking about family stuff and her and that girl will start to separate a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 2:05pm
Yikes! My son does that sometimes -- tells kids things that we have said at home that should really be kept between us... They haven't learned yet how to filter stuff like that. My older son has a friend (age 13) who is a real pain, who always is insulting people and putting them down and calling names. The other day, DS said, "Mom, can you imagine how much D. (friend) would make fun of me if I was still doing gymnastics?" Argh!!!!!! I said something like, "D. makes fun of everything he doesn't participate in himself. You should never make decisions based on his opinion." Naturally, the next time D. was at our house, my 8-year-old felt it necessary to tell him exactly what I said about him. Oh well!!!!! I didn't lie!!! :)