responsibilty???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
responsibilty???
6
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 12:25pm
Okay, I have a wonderful, well behaved 8 yo daughter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: cici2005
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 3:57pm

I have an 8-year-old boy who sounds very similar. He does have basic responsibilities, like putting away his clean clothes, making his bed, feeding his fish, etc. But he still does kind of need every step spelled out for him when it comes to the bigger act of getting ready for school or cleaning his room or his play area in the basement.

The good news is, I also have a 12-year-old who was the exact same way and he is actually VERY responsible, for the most part. He keeps his room clean on his own (in fact, he's anal about it), and he is the one who remembers his gym clothes on gym day, etc.; I am completely out of it when it comes to that kind of thing. He is self-motivated at this point. But he got that way because I did just continually spell things out step by step when he was 8... (No way would he make his own breakfast, though; I make it because he would just skip it if it was up to him!)

It may help to have a checklist with steps written out, like a "morning" checklist: a.) get dressed; b.) make bed; c.) make toast; d.) eat breakfast; e.) brush teeth; f.) pack backpack. That is motivating for a lot of kids, to have a checklist they actually cross off each day. Other than that, my advice is to keep doing what you are doing, do not get too frustrated, just gradually give her more responsibility and help her until she really "gets" it. It will eventually work out.

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
In reply to: cici2005
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 6:02pm

I always encouraged a lot of independence and responsibility in my kids, and they were always expected to do a lot for themselves.

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Avatar for mama2dutchess
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cici2005
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 10:37pm

I have a few thoughts to add.


I agree with one poster that said you can't expect an over night change so work on things slowly.


Tiffany


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
In reply to: cici2005
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 12:38pm

First off, as I said earlier this is my first time posting on this site.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cici2005
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 12:46pm
When you go to post, right under you name on the board is a pull down box, click on that and the option to respond to ALL will be there; chose that one.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cici2005
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 12:49pm
By the way, I'm reading and getting suggestions too. It has really dawned on me in the past couple of weeks that my 9 yo son has a lot less responsibilities than I did at the same age. I need to give up some of the stuff I insist on doing and get him to help out on a more regular basis.