responsibilty???

I have an 8-year-old boy who sounds very similar. He does have basic responsibilities, like putting away his clean clothes, making his bed, feeding his fish, etc. But he still does kind of need every step spelled out for him when it comes to the bigger act of getting ready for school or cleaning his room or his play area in the basement.

The good news is, I also have a 12-year-old who was the exact same way and he is actually VERY responsible, for the most part. He keeps his room clean on his own (in fact, he's anal about it), and he is the one who remembers his gym clothes on gym day, etc.; I am completely out of it when it comes to that kind of thing. He is self-motivated at this point. But he got that way because I did just continually spell things out step by step when he was 8... (No way would he make his own breakfast, though; I make it because he would just skip it if it was up to him!)

It may help to have a checklist with steps written out, like a "morning" checklist: a.) get dressed; b.) make bed; c.) make toast; d.) eat breakfast; e.) brush teeth; f.) pack backpack. That is motivating for a lot of kids, to have a checklist they actually cross off each day. Other than that, my advice is to keep doing what you are doing, do not get too frustrated, just gradually give her more responsibility and help her until she really "gets" it. It will eventually work out.