Rude eight year old

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2008
Rude eight year old
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 2:07pm

First time poster here.

As a favor to a friend, I was taking several eight year old boys from my son's school home after a pizza party. One of the kids is someone I don't know well, who my son never plays with. We do see him from time to time at sports events and other school activities so I am acquainted with the boy's parents. He was the last one that I had to drop off, so for a time, he and my son were the only ones left in the car. Clearly within my earshot, he starts to put down my son, repeatedly and in no way joking around. The two of us just ignored him (dead silence) and dropped him of at home, but it left me really angry.

Should I speak to the boy's mother? What would you have said or done in response?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 4:55pm

I would have said something when he started saying those things whether they were to my child or another child in the car. People put down others because they feel bad about themselves and this is the only way they can find to feel better. There is just certain behavior I don't accept in my presence and it doesn't matter if they are my child or not I am going to speak up. Usually I'll say something along the lines of that isn't very nice. What would your mother say if she heard you talking that way? Sometimes boys this age and older will talk "trash" to each other and they might not realize that they are being rude or disrespectful because they think they are just joking around. In those cases the best defense is to say "so?" or "your point is?" and then don't engage. Because if they see it bothers you they keep it up.

I don't know if I would talk to the other parent or not. It depends on how much contact the boys will be having. If this is something that will be ongoing (such as scouts or other extra-curricular activities) then I would find a way to talk to her. I would most likely approach it by saying that it seems our two sons do not get along very well and since they need to at least be civil does she have any suggestions on how we could help them. They don't have to be best friends or even spend any additional time together but they do need to not be rude and obnoxious to each other. The thing is you have to be careful because it is entirely possible that this is how that family talks and so they won't see anything wrong with what their son is doing or saying.