talking to your kids about violence

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
talking to your kids about violence
3
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 12:50pm

A man was shot and killed down the street from our house this week. This comes after increasing crime and violence that seems to be creeping in from the bigger city. Its been building for maybe about a year. Its sad because while I didn't grow up here, I did have friends who did and this is not the city I knew as a kid. When we bought the house the difference between our home town and this town was lot sizes. You got more land. The other main difference was closes of public transit which many are now blaming for the downturn. I was a criminal justice major, I get poor economy = desperate people = more crime. Especially kids, if kids have no sense of a future whats going to keep them from making the easy buck. Adults have hard enough time finding work which limits high school kids options. The city opened a teen center in hopes to at least giving kids a place to go and some guidence and at very least keeping good kids from bad.

The man who was killed was a local business man, he was my age had a family but he was also what may have been his down fall. He wanted to work with kids. He was a former marine who had a skate shop, most of his clients were teens and young adults and he was always there for them. Not alot is know about why yet, I fear he may have crossed someone because the facts don't add up to robbery but the bottom line is crime has increased. We have been broken into twice in last 3 years. The convence store next door to where the shooting took place has been held up, there were 2 armed robberis in the days leading up this at local gas stations and unconfirmed reports of a shooting at the end of rush hour at the local train stop.

Its scary as a mom. I wasn't going to tell the boys what happened but we had to drive RIGHT past it all and there were news trucks and well MIL didn't get my suttle hints. What worried me more was my oldest wasn't scared. I immediately worry is he desenstized??? Not that I want to scare him. then I worry about the future. He is at the age he will start to crave indenepence but this happened 5 min from my house at 1pm!! we were in parking lot of the convience store that exact time the day before!! Will I ever feel ok with him not being with me. I a NOT a helicopter parent, I want him to be able to be independant but this scares the CRAP out of me!!

How do we prepare them for this world we live in today?!?!?

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Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Mon, 02-04-2013 - 3:39pm
LOL, the wrestling can just go so out of hand! I try to let it go for a bit, but not too long because someone always ends up getting hurt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 02-02-2013 - 9:12am

Its funny a year ago he would have FREAKED out. He has anxiety and he is getting some social skills and coping skills at school sp maybe its helping and maybe he is getting older. I don't know how much they talk at school, not teachers but classmates, this week locally and nationally was HORRIBLE. We don't generally watch the news at night. I do when I get up at 5am but I change it to kids tv when they get up. Mainly because its the same news over and over and over and by the time we get home at night and I am settled to put TV on local news is just about over. I think this reaction of his is probably normal, its just in the past the anxiety would take over so it threw me some. And I knew if we stay locked inside the bad guys win, just sucks!!! Meanwhile he probably has a better chance of something happening to him wrestling with his brother which is code for got to run and break this up before I end up with an ER trip!!!

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Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 5:58pm

I wish I had the answer for you, Heidi, it's scary as heck out there. We don't live in a high crime area of our town, but there was still a rash of break-ins last year. We didn't get hit but I think that's due to our two very loud, scary sounding dogs. I don't think that kids fully understand the dangers, I know that mine don't. They might hear about bad things happening, but it doesn't seem to affect them either. I just think it's the age and the innocence. I think all you can do is try to keep them safe without smothering them and make sure that you are talking about safety every so often such as keeping doors locked, not talking to strangers, etc. There has been so much violence lately, I hate to even turn on the news :(

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