Too old to cuddle?

Avatar for melissamc
Community Leader
Registered: 03-22-2007
Too old to cuddle?
5
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 2:38pm

So my dh is starting to get a bit on my nerves with this issues, especially since I think he's over reacting when it comes to this.

I've probably mentioned before that my youngest, Sean, is probably the closest to me, and wants to spend time with me.   While my other boys only tolerate (or barely tolerate) affection from their mom, my youngest totally soaks it up.  He's always wanted to be close to me, but not in a strange or creepy way :smileywink:  He is just flat out a cuddler, and still wants that time with me.   If I'm sitting on the couch, he'll want to sit next me.  He likes to lean against me and is always giving me hugs (just not in front of peers!).  He also still sneaks into our bed at night, he has forever, and most nights I don't hear him.  If I do wake up, I won't let him climb into our bed, but make him sleep on the couch in our room.  I know this drives my husband nuts, but I never seem him waking up in the middle of the night to deal with it.

I, of course, soak it up because I know my days are numbered when it comes to snuggle time with my boys.  He's the only one I've gotten to stay home with for any length of time, I became a SAHM when he was three.  It's not like he's totally attached me, he goes out and plays with his friends for hours at a time, does totally fine and well adjusted at school and sports.  He does make sure to get a quick hug from me before going out on his own, but it doesn't seem any different from other kids his age.   

My husband has been making some remarks to him and me about this, last night he asked him "aren't you too old for this" and "it's time to cut the cord", which totally confused my son and honestly, made me a bit irritated.  He also compared our relationship to attachment parenting, which is totally not the case. 

Do you think that my son is getting too old to cuddle?

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Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 12:18pm

I could have written this exact post about my 9 year old!! He's my youngest and still loves to cuddle. Like you, I'm soaking it up b/c he's my last "baby"- I don't know what I'll do when there's no one to cuddle anymore! I mean, of course there's DH, but it's not the same as cuddling with your "babies"!

My 9 year old still has the rocking chair in his room from his old nursery and DH has made a comment here and there about it too. But there's no way I'm putting it up until I have to!

Lisa 

Avatar for melissamc
Community Leader
Registered: 03-22-2007
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 1:45pm
That's good to hear about your girls, thanks for the feedback! I think my son would do better at night if he would just stop waking up, kwim? It's an early habit that started as a baby, he shared a room with his 5 year old brother so I never could do the whole CIO thing. It was just easier at that time to just deal with him instead of his crying waking up the three other boys. Now I'm paying the price! That's okay though, maybe it helped him be more of a cuddler :smileyhappy:

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Avatar for melissamc
Community Leader
Registered: 03-22-2007
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 1:43pm
My other boys were the same about stopping early, this one just hasn't been able to do it. We don't shut our bedroom door at night, and I'd rather not be woken up by the knocking :smileywink: We keep it open so the dogs can go in and out. We've been working on it though, and he's been sleeping on the floor next to my side of the bed. He doesn't start off the night in our room, he'll wake up because of a nightmare, (or whatever wakes him up) and gets scared. While the floor isn't an ideal situation (he has a blanket and pillow) it's better than him hogging bed space. I just hope that at some point he stops waking up in the middle of the night. Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sun, 09-23-2012 - 10:49pm

Oh I hope not, because my 9yo dd is the same way, a total cuddler and I love it!  She still loves to curl up with me on the couch to watch tv or movies, or sit on my lap on the chair to read. She'll occasionally sneak into my bed at night if she had a scary dream or scared by a thunderstorm.  But normally she likes being in her own bed because she tends to sprawl out & likes the room, I guess.  LOL! 

I've got an older dd who was the same way and she's now a normally functioning almost-21-year-old college student. 

I don't know if there's a double-standard; girls vs. boys doing this...  ???  But I'm with you, I'm going to soak it up before the teen years sneak up & she won't want to do it any more.  :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 4:48pm

My son is 17 and still hugs me, so I definitely don't think he's too old to cuddle.  This is just me, but I would discourage him from sleeping in my bedroom at night unless he is sick or having a nightmare.  I do think that kids should respect that their parents need alone time and privacy in their bedroom and they should knock before entering.  don't get me wrong, my kids would come & sleep in my bed when they were toddlers but also my exH also worked the overnight shift so it was only me--but by age 3 or 4 they just stopped doing it.