What can I do to help

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
What can I do to help
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 4:28am
It has been such a long time since I have visited the messgae boards. It is 1:00am my time and I can't sleep. Hope someone has some good advise.

First of all let me start by saying that we just had a baby last week. My son is now eight and there are no siblings in between. My son is a doting older brother and loves the little one to death but even after all the discussions before hand about how demanding a baby would be I will admit that I don't think he realized the extent to which that meant as he is now experiencing. I am sure he is affected somewhat even though he won't admit it. I plan to have one on one time with him this weekend as I know that is important. However my overall problem is as listed below.

We live on a culdesac and there is only one boy the same age that used to play with my son all the time (going on 3 years now). They were best friends. Now the other boy "Jeremy" has found someone else he plays with from around the corner and who goes to his school (my son does not go to the local public school but rather a charter school away from our area) and for some reason they can't all three play together. My son feels like he gets ignored when it's the three of them together. Today, my son went down the street to see if Jeremy could play but was told by Jeremy that he was busy doing homework (which he was) but 1/2 hour later he rode by on his bike with the other little boy "Nick". Obviously he is not interested in playing with my son otherwise he would have come down after he was done working to say he was done and could now play. I saw my son stand at the door with this sad look when the other two boys rode by. I tried to talk to him about it and all he would say was "it's all right". Later on he got upset about another issue and I got a little heated with him. He started crying heavily and blurted out "I am just having a bad day, I just want my friend Jeremy back". It broke my heart. I didn't know what to say to him. He then started hitting himslef in the head. He obvioulsy has built up frustrations inside that he is not expressing to me. I don't know what to do.

I did talk to Jeremy's mom to see if Jeremy had expressed a reason as to why he does not want to play with my son but she had not heard of any reasons and will check into. Mind you Jeremy about a month ago was sad himself when one of the older boys on the block would not acknowledge him. Now he is doing the same thing to my son. Just kids stuff or something to be worried about????? I certainly don't want Jeremy to bother coming over when it is convenient for him (i.e. when the other boy is not available), nor do I want him to be forced to play with my son and have my son become the third wheel. I've thought before about taking my son out of his school and enrolling him in the local school for social reasons but the local school is not academically as good as the one he goes to now so that really is not an option as far as I am concerned.

Anybody have any ideas or suggestions?