Would you get involved?

Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Would you get involved?
2
Thu, 02-07-2013 - 5:29pm

I was reading a blog piece on Huffington Post about whether you would intercede if you saw a parent going unglued (verbally) on their child.  In this example, it was a young teen who was being lambasted by her father on the sidewalk, he was cursing her out, calling her a liar, telling her that's why nobody likes her, etc.  The auther did manage to say something to the girl, but was apprehensive about getting further involved.  Here is the url if you'd like to read it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christie-o-tate/father-curses-out-daughter-how-i-chose-to-intervene_b_2567294.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

I'm not sure how I would handle that situation.  If he was getting physical with her, I'd call the police.  Other than that, it's hard to say.   I would feel bad for the girl, not knowing if this is something she's subjected to all the time.  You also don't know how much you'll put yourself at risk if you do get involved.  There is no way of knowing how a grown man will respond, and if it will turn a situation violent.  I think I would be notating the license plate of the car and would have to think about it.  Every parent has a bad day; not that I'm making excuses for his behavior, but it's hard to judge other parents without knowing the cirucmstances.  What if she was just suspended from school or really having some major behavioral problems?

What would you do?

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Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 5:23pm
I totally agree! I don't want to me my kids' BFF either, while I want to have fun with and be involved with their lives, I'm still the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 8:57am

You just don't know they whole story. If I saw a parent hitting a child, I probably would say something and not a judgmental you should do that, but a more hey take a step back before you do something you regret. We ALL have bad days. I hate yelling at my kid in public because I don't like getting THE LOOK. We all react differently and that initial shock of a situation sometimes takes the better of us, but you just don't know. If you saw the kid do something and then the parent reaction its easier to step in because you have a lot of the facts, but if you walk in on a situation. Now if a parent is physically harming a child I would call someone but if its a spanking or tap on the wrist or even accross the face in some situations yes I would do that to my child. For all I know that kid just cussed out his or her parent and yes I do think that deserves a slap. If a parent is berading a child in public I may step in and say step back is what they did REALLY that bad, sometimes we need reminders. they are in the moment but we are on the sideline. My DH doesn't have the same filter as me and he will yell at my kids in public and certain things I don't stand for. My kid isn't stupid, his actions yes but I will reign DH in if I hear him say that to my kids in public or at home and I probably would to a parent. Something like a hey I am sure he isn't stupid what he did maybe but... and I am sure it would be followed by a verbal attack on me which i would follow up with hey been there I got kids and I get angry and if I was getting outline I'd rather another parent point it out other then the police because I'm sure there are others that would just call security and the cops.

Its tough because you don't know that could be a history or abuse or just a one time thing and while I don't think kids should be subject to abuse but I don't think parents should suffer for a one time lapse in judgment. I'm old fashion in many ways in my parenting. I'm not into that I am my kids best friend. yes I want them to like me and I like to do things with me but they also have to respect me and many "friends" don't mesh with our parenting but kids aren't verbally abuse and they don't get "hit". We do spank if need be but we warn too..

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