8 Common Mistakes Parents Make When it Comes to Allowances

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
8 Common Mistakes Parents Make When it Comes to Allowances
6
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 10:14am

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Yikes! It is possible that I've totally done allowances the wrong way all along! Do you give your children allowance, Dana? If so, is it tied to chores in any way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006

I hear ya, Kristy!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Interesting article [I saw it and was going to steal it for the 10-14 board ;-)].

I know there is always a debate about whether it should be tied to chores or not, and I don't and never have just for the reason you quoted, I don't get paid as a mom to cook and clean, why should the kids, its their responsibility as part of the family to do chores. And what happens when a kid says, ehh, I dont' want to do chores this week and my allowance isn't important to me, so I am not doing any? Same with paying kids for grades... But I do think letting them do "extra" chores for extra money is appropriate so that if they are saving for something special, they have that extra ability to make a bit more money for it.

I also think that it will depend on what type of child you have, and whether you set up strict ground rules for the allowance ahead of time. My ODD who is the only one who currently gets an allowance had rules in place that she knew she had to save a portion of her allowance for long term goals, but she also did that on her own, she has never been a spend all my money on gum and candy and cheap toys type of person. But then there are other kids that it doesn't matter what rules you set out for them, if you give them money, they are just going to spend spend spend.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Hey Tracy. Steal away! ITA that rules need to be in place for what the child spends the money on. My ODS would have spent all his on games and candy. LOL. We had to have strict rules with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Yep, I've always heard the same thing! For a long while we were just giving a flat $20 per month, without it being tied to chores. I really wanted them to learn how to save for things they really wanted without constantly begging us to buy them things. The problem with that was that they just refused to do chores. Without really knowing what else to do about it, we'd punish them by taking away allowance. Yeah, not really good.

My problem with tying it to chores is that some days the things on their charts either don't need to be done or we are so busy doing other things that we don't have a chance to do them. I don't want to punish them just because they didn't have time.

Sigh... obviously I have some thinking to do about this too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
I understand! Why is parenting so hard? LOL