Am I horrible to cancel my five year olds birthday party?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2012
Am I horrible to cancel my five year olds birthday party?
2
Wed, 12-26-2012 - 3:55pm

I have a little girl who is about to turn six in two weeks.  She has been to many birthday parties in the last few months, and we are planning one for her, although invitations have not yet been sent out.  She is sweet as can be, but defiant to the point of disrepect.  About 99 percent of the time when she is told to do something, she sticks her tongue out, makes horrible faces at us, talks back and whatnot.  My husband and I are at our wits end.  I told him I am going toi cancel her birthday party, but I feel horribly guilty!  On one hand I think I must be stupid to let her treat us this way, and then go throw her a birthday party.  Then I feel horribly guilty about cancelling it.  I need some advice, because I don't know what to do.  If we cancel the party, we will of course have a small family party and still make the day special to her, just no friends and a big party.  We are at the end of our rope from the disrespect from a five year old.  I would've never gotten away with the things she does when I was her age. I feel like we are doing ok with disciplining her, so I don't know why nothing "sticks".  Help!!  Should I cancel the party?  Or is that too harsh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I would not cancel the party, the main reason being that a 5 yr old will not make the connection between her past behavior and not having a big party.  You need to discipline her at the moment she does something wrong.  Now I might go so far as saying that if she is being defiant and rude right before you were going to take her somewhere, then you could say "forget it now, you are going to your room instead of going to the movies"   Now it's really been a long time since my kids were little--I can't really remember them sticking out their tongue or making faces--of course we probably had the eye roll, but if you have told her that it's not polite to stick out her tongue, then when she does it, I'd do something like making her have time out for 5 mins. for each time she sticks out her tongue, or taking away something like watching a favorite tV show.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
Hi! Just wanted to welcome you to the board. I agree with musiclover that she will not associate her past behavior with not having a party. Thanks for stopping by!