Am I just old school?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Am I just old school?
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 10:16am
I invited my daughter's friend to a fun day of pizza and miniature golf. I understand and am ok with the fact that I initiated the invite with full intentions of paying for everything. The child's mother asked if her daughter needed to bring anything and I said no. So my daughter, her friend and I all went and had a great time. I was surprised when the mother didn't give her any money just in case. I remember my mother never let me leave the house without money even if she gave it to the adult and said, this is just in case she needs money. Now most of the time I returned with the money but at least that was my mother offering to pay for something, just as if friends were going out and even though you pick up the ck your friend offers to pay the tip. Now you have every right to not accept her offer, but the offer was made. Should the mother have sent her with the money (especially since we are not good friends, just church acquaintenances and the girls are in the same class at school) or am I just "old school"? Ps-I am not upset with the mother because I think times have changed, but I am just curious as to what others think. Thx
Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
Mon, 04-16-2012 - 11:35am
Hi there, and welcome!
I totally agree. I always give my kids the money just in case, and my Mom, like yours, did the same thing. I do it for incidentals. Maybe they'll find something they just can't live without. :) Not for the trip; I am a firm believer that if you invite someone, you should be willing to pay their way as well.
I honestly do not know the proper etiquette for this situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 4:06pm
Thanks for your response. Any other comments out there?
Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 2:05pm

I don't think you're "old-school" at all! The parents of my kid's friends always send money with them too- for the exact reason you said. Just to have made the offer/good etiquette.

I'll be upset if NOT sending money becomes the new "norm". Sigh.