molester on the block

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
molester on the block
13
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 3:14am
today a letter was sent home with parents from the my childrens school (as well as a few other schools near by) informing parents that a convicted child molester moved into the neghiborhood. Apparently he moved in a few months ago but no one was informed by the police or any kind of goverment agent. I was readign online and looking in old papers and also talked to other people to find out what this man was conviced of. He is only in his 30s but he went to jail for 2 years (should have been longer) for molesting his girlfriends 5 year old daughter and 16 month old daughter. But those were the only things he got conviced of. Apparntly he has several counts ( i belive 25) aginst him but none were chargerd. I even heard that he has children of his own that he has partial custody of! (i have not seen his kids) the worst thing is he lives not that far from am elemntry school (maybe like half a mile) and often children walk past his home to get to school or the park.I called the local police and they said that as long as he registers with them they can not make him move. I used to let my kids and my neices and nephews their bikes to that park ( i have 4 little girls and one boy) and when it snows i let them sled over there because i always assumed they will be safe. and even though it is super late outside i saw him walking up the street about an hour ago! what can I do! i dont want this man here but also i dont want to take away my childrens freedom and tell them they cant ride their bikes anymore. i dont know what to do.... sorry for all the typos in this message i am to upset to fix them or even care

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 1:09pm

Stephanie,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 2:00pm

the police should be able to tell you it he has an restrictions, upon release.
Like not being within 30 feet of a school or park, not being with an child under the age of 16, unless being supervised, things like that...

Educated your children, show them where this guy lives, tell them what he's done,
tell them to always stay in a group, to protect each other, and make sure that the kids know NEVER to go with a stranger...

I know how you feel... we have a UN-registered sex offender a few streets over, only in this case the police wont' tell the neighbourhood anything, because he hasn't been classified as a dangerous offender(give me a break!!!) and he has received councilling, blah...blah... blah, something about HIS rights and privacy... oh PLEASE!!!!
all I know is, if this guy even looks sideways at one of my kids, or any kid for that matter... I'll probable be the one in Jail.

the school had an assembly, about safety, staying in groups, never walk alone, call someone if you need a ride, the school has even offered(very quietly) to pay for Taxi's if someone is afraid to walk home alone, and there is no one available to give them a ride, or walk with them, but the principal/teachers/coach's are very good about giving kids rides home,especialy if its late,(after-school practises ect...)

As a neighbourhood, get together, start a neigbourhood watch, I notice we have a lot more BLOCK PARENTS. Me included..

good luck and stay safe

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 9:38am

Honestly?

The sense of security and ability to let children have unsupervised independence before was a false sense of security. NO ONE really has that,no matter where they live or who lives nearby.

There is the potential for dangerous people everywhere. If they don't live there, they can drive there. Parks and schools will always attract those wishing to do harm to children - registered or not.

I think the real solution, unfortunately, is to always supervise our children and not be lulled into a false sense of security by believing we live in a "safe" place.

That may seem extreme - but I believe it is the truth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 8:46pm

I don't really think that there's much you can do - or should do. There's no saying that there aren't other child molesters in your suburb that simply haven't been caught yet.

One can't assume that it's safe for children to play in the park alone ever. Child molesters can travel from suburb to suburb or across the city to the park where your children play. Quite frankly, I believe that you have more to fear from molesters that you aren't aware of. The local child molester will be well aware of issues such as community vigilantes and will be keeping his nose clean (at least in your neighbourhood).

All you can do is take this opportunity to teach the kids about the issues and keep an eye on them.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 11:53pm
thanks so much qccandlemom i think i will start some kind of protest and that whole schedule idea seems great like he should not be allowed out before 7 or something. And i also wonder why he would have any kind of custody for his children. I think who ever allowed thta to happen is an idoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 11:58pm
that is a great idea. i was going to not let them know anythng about him. but i think it would but best to show my children where he lives and what he looks like. i think it is unfair that a peoce of their safe would is taken away because of a pervert
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 12:03am
you know i never really thought about someone else around here or traveling to hurt my child. maybe in a straneg way this is a good thing it keeps the parents on alert. but i have an idea to speak with mothers and fathers and have them set up safe houses. (would it be going to far to give my child a cell phone?) and also i will call parents and they will call me if they saw my child anywhere near his home
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 3:59am

I think that it's wise to stop focusing on one molester in particular. Yes, show the children who he is, but also push the point that NO strangers are to be trusted.

I remember having safe houses when I was a kid....but I don't see them around anymore. I wonder why..... If you were to set up this type of thing, have the local police give you advice. My main concern with setting up "safe houses" would be verifying that each person does not have a criminal record. There could also be a legal minefield: What happens if a child is injured in a safe house? What happens if the occupant of the safe house isn't home? If you are the co-ordinator of the safe houses - do you have any legal liability if something goes wrong? Whatever you do, make sure you get legal advice before setting something up.

Is having mobile phones going too far? Possibly. If your child can't be trusted to not speak to strangers then they shouldn't be out without supervision anyway.

However, I still believe that this molester is not going to offend in his own area. He knows that he's being watched and it's far too great a risk. If there was a sex offence in your area, he knows that the police will go straight to him. I think that your children are still at far greater risk from pedophiles that aren't known in your area. Yes, you could chase him out - but would that give you a false sense of security? Just because he's gone doesn't mean that your children are safe.

It's also worth remembering that approx 97% of child molestation comes from someone who is known to the child and family. Just a little perspective for you :-)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 9:24am

Someone touched on this, but for statistical purposes, you should be more concerned about your own family and relatives being molesters than strangers. Or your childrens friends parents or their relatives. My kids go to a very well to do private school and one of the fathers (a pediatrician mind you) was arrested for molesting his daughter.

I wouldn't freak out about the one molester you know about, you need to worry about the ones living within your family and friends that you'd never believe were molesters.

The best strategy is to tell your children from a young age... no one touches your private parts without me there, an adult would never ask a child for directions, to help look for a puppy or any kind of help whatsoever, and teach your kids it's okay to scream... you're not my father!!! etc in public. We actually had screaming sessions at home that the kids thought was funny, but I didn't want them to ever be embarrassed to scream. And that no adult should ever ask you to keep a secret from you, and if they do you are to tell you immediately and you will ALWAYS believe them.

Then there is the standard buddy system, being aware of your surroundings and not going places alone, letting someone know where you are at all times, how to look for help from an adult, how to call 911, etc.

I know it must sound like I'm paranoid, but I didn't give them one big scary lesson, it's just different things we've discussed over time.

The kids are funny now... when we even go to walmart they'll tell me... no one leaves here without each other no matter what, don't ever go with an employee without me, etc. Not that they wander the store but realistically they can be in one aisle while I'm in another.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 4:38pm
yea i was wondering if the police should know about the safe house thing. but you made me wonder when you said that the police would go to him first, that a person around here who is a child molester but not registered might take this as a sign to commit crimes and know thet they are in the clear. The only place I know is safe is the home of my childrens sitter and the home of my cousin they both live closer to the school than I do. I told my children if he tries to talk with them and they are near one of those homes run to it. I will make it more clear that it should be anyone. Have anyone you heard of something called the password. Where you and your child make up a password before you go anywhere with them? Ours is a song:) even harder to guess

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