My child is getting picked on........

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
My child is getting picked on........
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:57am

My Joshua is 5 yrs. old in kindegarten. He did great in pre-school and he made a couple good friends there. He is very animated, very smart, but is very strong-willed. He likes to do things his way. He is also very enthusiastic about 'everything.' Anyway...

last week, I went to his parent visitation day and he did pretty good. He followed the rules, sat still, and for the most part, what I could tell, paid attention. These are our biggest concerns with him ---- being able to follow the directions/rules/sit still, etc. I did notice that he is either not paying attention to the question, or not comprehending correctly. He likes to take part and answer questions the teacher asks, but doesn't really answer the correct 'way.'

Last week, when I picked him up from school, he said that during 'circle-time' a boy hit him in the fore-head and pushed him down on the rug they were sitting on and called him 'dumb.' Josh said the teaher put the other child in 'immediate time-out.' (They have a stop-light type thing and when they get 3 warnings, they are on the 'red' and get a time-out). Since the teacher did not notify me of this herself, I decided not to make a big deal out of it and told Joshua "you are NOT dumb.' and to try to ignore those kids and that he knows what it feels like when someone does that to you, so to make sure he doesn't do that to other kids.

This a.m. a boy in the neighborhood (probably about 8 or so), came to me and said a boy that sits behind Josh on the bus was calling him 'dumb' and making fun of him. (this boy is in the 8 yr. olds class). I thanked him for telling me and asked Josh about it. He said that it was happening, but didn't tell the bus-driver. Again, he didn't seem to make a big deal about it, so I just kind of repeated what I told him last week about the other child in his class.

My plan is to ask the nice boy that approached me today how things are going on the bus and to please tell me when things happen, and to just monitor the situation for awhile.

Am I doing the right thing not saying anything to anyone? I was teased like crazy from about 2nd grade to 9th grade and it was a horrible school experience for me. I even brought the insecurity with me through adult-hood and just recently have started to get over it and not take things too personally. I don't think I imunate (sp?) this with myself around him at all; and I don't want to. I just want to keep what happened to me from happening to him during his school career. Shoot -- he just got started and that would be awful! I also don't want HIM to turn into a 'bully.'

Any comments, advice, been-there-done-that's are welcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:16am
I would talk to the teacher and the school principal. Bullying and name calling is taken very seriously in our school. If the teacher and principal are aware of the problem, they can keep an eye out and hopefully stop the situation before it gets worse.
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:41pm
I would allert the school and have them to tell the bus driver as well. I am also a big proponent of martial arts for kids. I have had both my kids in martial arts since they were 5. It is great for self defence and empowers the spirit.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 2:13pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 8:49pm

You are like like to keep the peace.

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