Sex talk with my 9 yo DD

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Sex talk with my 9 yo DD
10
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 8:12pm

My 9 yo daughter had tons of questions about sex last night and I answered them all. It was pretty specific and explicit. She was the one who drove the conversations with questions.  I think she and I were both pretty calm about it.

How old were your kids when you had this talk? I was a little surprised at the direction the conversation took. My 11 yo son does not seem to be as interested in the details...

 

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
Wed, 09-12-2012 - 10:49am
Hi, and welcome!

I think girls are just naturally more inquisitive than boys. At least, I know my dd was. :smileywink:

We talk as it comes up, as you did, and let them lead the conversation. Not a specific 'talk'.
When you say you were surprised, how so? Did she know more than you thought she would? Thanks for sharing.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 10:20am
I think unless the boys are really into science type stuff, they are not usually that inquisitive about sex, or at least on that level in my experience. I was having period talks with my daughter at that age and before, but not so much sex talks. They also starting talking about it earlier and earlier in school also. I think sometimes is also comes up more if the child knows someone who is pregnant, or has friends with older siblings that have talked about it.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 1:38pm

My girls were much more aware and interested (not in a bad way, lol) about sex than my boys. Dd22 is now out of college and working as a biochemist but we knew she'd be a scientist early on. In May of her 5th grade year, the teacher called to ask me whether I  had any reservations about her going to the sex-ed center (no, it wasn't called that, but that's basically what it was). Well, she had just been at ds12's birth that April, touched his head when he was coming out, asked all kinds of questions, etc. The teacher had been concerned because at age 9, she was younger than the rest of the class, but she probably knew more after that experience than all the other kids combined. Now, my ds10 (in 5th grade) was CLUELESS! until his dad talked to him last month. I mean, he hadn't even heard of periods and there are three women in the house. I honestly think girls just talk more about everything.

We told dd22 to write questions down and leave them for us if she felt too embarrassed to ask, and I swear they were so explicit I began to think that I would need sex-ed to answer them. Again, nothing bad, but I think that future scientist was starting early :smileywink:

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 8:49am

My 9 year old DS is no where ready. girls are still icky!!! I don't have any girls but I imagine if I did we'd have to have had some of the talk by this age. My sister started her period at 8, me and and my neice at 10 so early puberty runs in the family. My mom had the talk with me at 8 because of my sister getting her period so young but I was NOT ready. I think it depends on the kid. My oldest is on the young side but my youngest will probably need it sooner. DH is against me having any say in the talk but I don't 100% trust him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 8:17pm
He just thinks its uncomfortable for a boy to get the talk from mom. Have a feeling knowing mil there was some awkward talk in his past. I'll let dad do the details but let them know they can talk to mom too.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:08am

For the most part, I let dh handle the boys and I handled the girls, but we've both talked to all the kids here and there. I think it honestly depends on the kids and their relationship with both parents. I will say that ds12 seems to feel more comfortable with dh, but ds10 will talk to anybody about anything, lol, so he has been very open with me. And dd22 was the same way with dh (would talk to either of us). Dd19 preferred to not talk to anyone ever (she's very private) but would talk to me if she was forced to discuss sex with someone! :smileywink:  So, although I kind of agree with your dh as a general rule, don't just assume that the boys will prefer talking to him. Some friends of mine have kids of both genders who prefer mom because mom is laidback and dad is clearly uncomfortable!!

Theresa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 09-22-2012 - 8:42am

right now he is basing it off of his experience. Again talking to his mom about that  I can see how extra awkward that would be. Personally me too could never have talked to me dad and we have always been close. Its a totally different generation. In his mind my kids are test tube babies. We definately both have different relationships with our kids and again its a generational thing. Both our parents are very conservattive, mine a tad less (aka they had sex before marriage...with each other... my in laws did not)

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