10 Things I Hate About You

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
10 Things I Hate About You
4
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 11:33am

I picked up the February issue of Family Circle yesterday at the supermarket and this was in it. Given some of the topics discussed lately, I thought it was worth sharing. It's written from a teen (and possible young-ish teen, at that) point of view, and I found it interesting and good food for thought. I confess to being guilty of Number 8: Hovering :-)

Try to act cool. No dressing like us, using our slang, listening to our music. We already have friends, we need you to be parents.

Give us the third degree. We feel violated when you interrogate us, especially if the questions assume we've been up to something.

Nag, nag, nag. When we hear the same thing over and over again, we tune out.

Get rule-crazy. Figure out the things that are most important and discuss them with us. If you micromanage, we won't learn to solve our own problems.

Go negative all the time. Now and then dole out some praise - our self-esteem could always use a boost.

Compare us to others, including siblings. Being judged by how we measure up to someone else makes us feel bad - and makes us dislike that person.

Order us around. All we ever hear is, "Turn down the TV," "Clean your room," or "Feed the dog." Whatever happened to "please" and "thank you"?

Hover. When we're in a bad mod, the last thing we want is for you to be constantly asking what's wrong.

Tease. We're a mass of insecurity, and your joke about that zit can be devastating.

Believe us when we say, "Get out of my life." We need you as our anchor while we make tentative forays into the world of grown-ups.

Julie

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 11:59am

Good list. I think I might tend to be a little bit of a nag, but only around a certain time of the month when NOTHING seems right in my head - lol!!

My dd's actually like that I dress 'young'. I mean, my rear end doesn't hang out and I don't show any belly, but I do try to dress comfortably and fashionable. They hate when I were dowdy looking things and old lady pants. They don't like when I where twinsets at all or business-y looking things. Unfortunately, I do have to wear some things that they don't like as I work in an office and that's just the way it is. But on my off time, I mostly wear jeans and t-shirts or sweaters. We share our shoes and jackets.

One time I went outside during my then 9th grader's party and accidentally started to dance/bop when a certain song was on - my dd never let me live that down. Apparently the boys didn't mind, but my dd was mortified. I've never done that AGAIN! I felt bad that I embarrassed her.

I have a friend who has always gently teased her kids growing up and they all have the best sense of humor. They can laugh at themselves and they hardly ever take any snide remarks seriously. I think that's healthy. I try to gently tease my dd's at times, especially when they are totally over reacting to something or to lighten things up when it's getting waaay too serious - but I also know when to NOT tease.

Good list.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 1:26pm

That is a good list...DH and I try to do most of the things on it. OK, the nagging sometimes creeps in...but if you do something I ask (I am good at saying please, by the way) sometime during the first 6 times I ask, there won't be a 7th time! And I don't think they mind the clothes or the music as much...last year, DSS carpooled with a couple of kids to school (their bus ride was over an hour long, school is 10 minutes away, so 3 sets of parents carpooled the kids to & from school), and usually I was just the invisible chauffeur when it was my turn. One day, one of the kids had his little walkman on, with the headphones off so everyone could hear it, and I really liked this one song and told them I did. Well, they were all thrilled to death, and he kept playing the song over and over for the next couple of times I drove them!

Jane

Avatar for mily12
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 5:13pm

Lately, I've been guilty of #2 (third degree) more than the other ones. I'll have to work on that. As to #7 (saying thank you and please), I think the kids could work on that one more than us parents.

I like to hear things from the point of view of teens so that I can better understand them and thus, relate to them better. I like this list very much. I'd like to see more.

Mily

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 9:04am

Love it.
Yes, I do the hover thing. I am guilty of trying to "fix" things ... a friend once dubbed me "guardian of the world's feelings".

And nag? Well .... the way I look at it is: I will ask you nicely to do your nightly job (even though you know what it is and when you are expected to do it). If you do not get up and do your job in a few minutes, I will ask you again (a little less sweetly). If time continues to pass joblessly, I will then say, LOUDLY "JOB!!!" (you know you're in trouble when we get to the one-word commands...) Is that nagging? This could perhaps be avoided by simply honoring the request the first time. So, yes, I nag without apology. When necessary.

jt