10 yr old friendship Concerns!

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michellemidwest
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
6
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 9:56am

I have a silly question here, but my daughter who is 10 is best friends with a boy who lives a few houses down. They play together 99% of the time when possible, and get along great. My daughter actually likes to play with this friend moreso than some of her girlfriends whom she doesn't see as often because they

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debbidoeskeyboarding
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
In reply to: michellemidwest
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 10:56am

I just wanted to begin by saying that when I was a kid, I had a similar situation to your DD. I hung around with this kid until it became awkward (about 10yo), and we stopped hanging around. It happens and it's completely normal. You might find that they completely drift away for a time, and if neither family moves, become good friends again when they are in their mid-teens. The tween years are a weird time for friendships. As mom, I wouldn't sweat it, they'll figure it out.

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No, they'll just learn to deal.

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What's going on between your DD and this boy shouldn't have any bearing on your friendship with the mom. It's not like one is bullying the other, or anything like that. They may drift apart completely and only just say hello to each other when you and your friend are visiting each other. Not the end of the world and not something that should matter with your friendship.

krilerby
Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: michellemidwest
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 11:09am
Hi and welcome! This is a very awkward time in a child's life. The tween years, not a kid anymore, but not quite a teen. I agree with Debbie. This too shall pass. Once the maturity level increases a bit, they might just realize what a great friendship they had, and miss it. Of course the friendship will progress, less playing in the playground, more listening to music or laughing about some YouTube video. I had two guys in high school that were my best friends. Couldn't have made it through without them.

I don't think the carpool was a bad idea at all. It'll just take time for them to adjust.

Thanks for stopping by and keep us posted on them, ok?

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gccandlemom
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
In reply to: michellemidwest
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 11:10am

hey michelle,


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turtletime1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-1999
In reply to: michellemidwest
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 12:10pm

This is pretty normal. It happened to me. My DD went through it too. Her best friends have always been males. Boys that age can be more active,

jlsjjsmom_
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: michellemidwest
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 12:19pm
My boys pretty much thought girls had cooties from the time they were about 4 until age 12 or so. LOL wish it would have lasted longer! That could be part of it - even though they may be friends at home there's probably enough little boys at school that would still give him a hard time about hanging out with girls ;-). You might ask your dd if she feels uncomfortable with the carpool thing but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Those hormones will kick in all too soon and then it will be cool to be seen with the opposite sex!


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bunnierose
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: michellemidwest
10 yr old friendship Concerns!
 Tue, 08-31-2010 - 9:55pm
My DD had almost exclusively boy friends until she was about 12 or 13... she grew up in a mostly male family, and she and one other girl were the only girls in our neighborhood when they were growing up... and they're now bffs and roommates (now 19 y/o). The one positive thing I saw for my DD in all of this - when she started being interested in boys as more than just friends, she wasn't overly impressed by them or over awed. And she wasn't about to let some boy manage her life for her either! A downside of this - even after she met her fiance, she had mostly guy friends all the way through hs and after... and now when she's trying to come up with bridesmaids for their wedding in 15 months, she is able to list a lot of guy friends, but not too many female friends that she's that close to. With the exception of DD and her bff, this might end up being an all male bridal party. LOL
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