13 y/o daughter wants to wear a thong

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
13 y/o daughter wants to wear a thong
13
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 9:08am
She has been wanting to wear a thong for the past couple years, but I won't allow it. I am just curious what other parents think about their daughters wearing thong underwear. All of my daughter's friends are allowed to wear them. Am I the only mother who thinks it's inappropriate?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 1:34pm
No, I have a13 year old also, and if I would have struck to my first rule of meeting the parents first, and not allowing my daughter to go down the street to a classmate’s house, I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in.

You can blame it on advertising company, entertainment or any other entity that has glamorized older status as being better. Your daughter is only young for a period of time, cherish that, she will be upset, but she will get over it.

She will thank you in the long run for being the parent, and having the courage of not accepting all the latest fades when she is older.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 1:56pm
LOL. . .the thong has returned ;-) This is probably one of our most popular topics on this board ;-)

My daughter (17) refuses to wear a thong, her choice. I guess if she wanted one or two or a hundred, that's up to her. . .she can buy them herself and wash them. It really is up to you if those are allowed or not. I know girls like to wear them because of the type of pants girls are wearing.


Avatar for yuccabugg
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 7:24pm
I think it depends why she wants to wear them. Personally, I wear them if I don't want any lines showing. But I bought them myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 9:05pm
I really don't get why this would be an issue, lol. What my girls wear for underwear, as far as i'm concerned, is their business. It's not like they're going to shed their pants to show everyone, look I'm wearing a thong. My older dd has had one since gr 9 because of the material of the (very appropriate) grad dress she had. If she had one earlier, i'd have had no idea as she does her laundry and I honestly wouldn't have cared. How is it inappropriate if it's not showing? I look at it as it's not illegal, it's not immoral, it's not a rebellion, it's not disrespectful; doesn't affect their grades or anything else I think falls under a parental guidance thing.

Just my thoughts :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 9:14pm
Phirefly, who frequently posts on this board summed up my feelings on this subject: "As long as the thong doesn't have an audience, I see no problem with it. If the thong has an audience, the battle has been lost anyway."

My 13 y/o DD started wearing thongs about 3-4 months ago. My rule is that she is never to have the thong showing above her pants. On the other hand, she isn't allowed to wear belly tops, brief, sexy bathing suits or booty shorts. This is just underwear and since she isn't showing them and she has restrictions on what else she can wear, this gives her some "safe" freedom.

Best of luck.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Mon, 05-05-2003 - 10:27pm
When my dd first wanted to wear a thong, I didn't allow it for awhile because I felt like they were kind of slutty. As other parenting "challenges" came up I decided that the underwear was pretty tame in the big scheme of things, and not a battle that I wanted to fight anymore. Like the others said, presumably nobody will see them and if she IS showing them I have bigger problems. I let her buy them for herself and dropped it.

Within a few months the novelty had worn off and she admitted that they were pretty uncomfortable and didn't care about wearing them anymore. Since then she has needed them for a couple of outfits that would have "visible panty line" and I bought them for her. The more expensive brands are more comfortable.

I would save the battle for when she wants pants that are so low that you can see the thongs over the top of them!

Welcome to the board, and to the joys of raising teens!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Tue, 05-06-2003 - 9:22am
I too have a 13 y/o & I would never let her wear a thong. At her age there is just no need for it. She and her friends talk about the girls who do wear them and why their parents buy thongs. Panty lines are not an issue at this age!
Avatar for luanne115481
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-06-2003 - 1:22pm
I think it depends on the child and the reason. Would I let my 14 or 12 year old wear a thong. Probably, although neither of them has expressed an interest. Personally I think they look like they would be pretty uncomfortable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 12:14am
My 14 yo dd started wearing them this year! This is one of those situations where I pick my battles. Like most who responded, no one else is seeing them; she wears them for her comfort (which I agree with since I wear them) and so that you can't see panty lines. I don't think there is anything wrong with them. They are "under"garments and it's really just a personal preference. I care more about what she wears that people can see ... shirts too tight or too short, shorts and skirts too tight or short, etc. She respects my limitations in this area since I try to not be too strict and pay attention to the style of the times.

Just my 2 cents ...

Good Luck!

Avatar for cynthiadarlene
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 8:16pm
I am dealing with this same issue. My 14 yo dd placed a package of thong panties in my grocery shopping cart (@walmart)and I said "NO Way" and she got mad. Well, two weeks later, while doing laundry ..... I found thongs !!!! My dd purchased some while at the mall with a friend.

I don't agree or approve with her wearing thongs .... and I plan to throw them away the next time I find them in the laundry room. I think her new interest in boys and this thong issue is frecking me out!

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