13 yr old girl's best friend bulling her

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
13 yr old girl's best friend bulling her
11
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 3:49pm

My daughter has a close group of 5 girlfriends.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 4:23pm
How old are these girls?? This doesn't sound like high school or even middle school behavior to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:14pm

I was watching a documentry on this just a couple of weeks ago. It seems girls do this all the time. It starts out looking like they are playing. As the bullying gets worse even the teachers on the playgrounds couldn't tell one student was really bulling the other. I don't know why it's dominant in girls. Having worked in a school system IMO when the child that is bulling gets stood up too or humiliated in front of the others they stop. The only thing is your dd has to be strong enough to take the consequenses, I have seen things blow up on occasion. I would have a talk with the guidance counseler telling her to keep this confidental, usually schools have confidentiality clauses and she if she can observe this




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:15pm

Believe it or not 8th grade!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:23pm
I wouldn't talk to the mom. She probably thinks her little darling would never do such things. I'd go through the school. Mention it to the guidance counselor, for a start. I have some experience in 8th grade--I work in a middle school and I taught 8th grade last year. I'm surprised the girl is doing this so blatantly. Usually these girls are sneakier in how they do this kind of bullying--like "accidentally" bumping someone (or even throwing a binder at them). They also tend to bully more through social means, i.e. including or excluding someone, and as you say, teasing, etc. That's not even mentioning the cyber-bullying that goes on with this age group. It's done under the radar, so to speak, so it's hard for teachers to even notice that it's going on. Personally, I wouldn't confront the girl's mom directly. If the problem is taking place at school, I think that's a logical place to start. Once the counselors and teachers are aware, they can start to look out for it. They are experts at handling kids this age and should be able to provide you and your DD with some advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 5:54pm
I think the advice so far is very helpful and it is usually by means of social exclusion that girls of this age bully.....maybe this girl is immature.....I would like to add that if you are close with the parents it might not hurt to speak to the girl's mother, if you think that she will be receptive. like it was said, most mom's do not like to think their child would do that but if you are close to her you may know best if she would be receptive to talking with you about the situation and how best to approach her...good luck and blessings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 6:17pm

This stuff happens all the time around here...the bullying takes all forms, I can't stand it. Last year, when my youngest DD was in the sixth grade, was the worst. It's really hard to know what to do, cuz you definitely don't want to make it worse...I got to the end of my mental rope mid year and called the principal. I made it very clear from the start that I wasn't pointing fingers and also that I wasn't suggesting that my own DD was an angel. I just told her things were getting out of control, cited examples w/out names...and said, this is their last year before going to the junior high, it should be special, not brutal. So she tells me thanks for the call, that she's not sure what she can do if anything...but lo and behold, she ended up holding a small assembly...just sixth grade girls...talking frankly, letting them all talk too, and it really helped. The bullies may have gotten scared, the bullied felt empowered, etc.


Like someone else said, it's good to encourage your DD to move away from negative people and pursue other friendships. I know it's hard not to do something yourself...I've wanted to wring several little necks over the years, but didn't...


All the best to you and your DD.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 11:21am

When my DS was taking karate, I remember the instructor talking about bullying.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 1:24am

I was standing in line today at Joann Etc. which was running right alongside the magazines. There infront of me was a mag called Discovery Girl, I think that is what it was called. Anyway it is for girls 8 and up (I think) and right on the front it said something about "frenemies" I think that is how it was spelled. I knew immediatly what it would be about and i thought of this thread. I didn't have the time to read the whole article, but what I did read was very good. I thought that was a very good term for exactly what these kind of girls are.


You know now that I think about it I think it said these were excerpts from a book titled Frenemies. Might be interesting to read.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 7:52pm

yes i think thats the term they used on the documentary lol but with my memory i cant be sure but i have heard that term . did'nt know there was a book about it.


I would love to read it. I wonder why these girls are so mean?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 8:42pm

Sorry I'm so late chiming in here, I've been busy baking!


<<Believe it or not 8th grade!>>


8th grade and age 13 seems to be the age for this.

 

 

 

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