14 year old daughter, ADD inattentive

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-1999
14 year old daughter, ADD inattentive
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 3:45pm

We are just beginning the process of having our 14 year old daughter tested, and are pretty sure after discussions with our doctor and psychologist that she is inattentive ADD. She has a very high IQ and has managed to get through school with flying colors until beginning a greatly accelerated academic program her freshman year. It has been extremely difficult, and I would really appreciate talking here with anyone who has been through something similar.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 9:26pm

Dear Geve,

Welcome to our corner in the village.

Sabertooth, one of the ladies who posts here, will have lots of good information for you as she went through this struggle with her DDs.
I would recommend that you check at your local public library for these two books: “A Mind At A Time” by Mel Levine is about children with learning differences by a medical doctor who specializes in the subject. There is an abridged audio version on CD. The other is “Push Has Come to Shove: Getting our Kids the Education They Deserve—Even If It Means Picking A Fight” by Dr. Steve Perry who operates a superior school in an economically disadvantaged area. If the library doesn’t have them stop by a local book store and thumb through them and see what you think about them before you buy. The school library or the counselors office may have a copy or two—especially A Mind At A Time. The testing folks may have them.

Kids are like snowflakes in that they are all different and have different needs. What works with one may or may not work with another.

Our DDs and SILs are 21 and nearing 20 and went through the grist mill of the teen years. The older couple are somewhere in the upper quarter of IQ, youngest DD is somewhere in the upper 2%, with her hubby somewhere up in that top 1%.

The SILs met when the eleven year old moved into the neighborhood of the 10 year old and they became best pals. This was the first real friend that the younger boy had had because of his Asperger’s Syndrome issues. Oldest had severe learning issues and the younger one became his tutor for life—and a darn good one. This was the beginning of a friendship that has profoundly blessed our family. Hubby and I first met the boys when they came to the door at 12 and 13 to pick up their dates for a school dance.

Younger couple was in the Talented and Gifted program until they skipped out and into HS with the older two.

The reason that I include Dr. Steve Perry’s book is that on page 207 there is a chapter titled “Cracking the AP Myth.” Dr. Perry makes the argument that time taking AP classes could be better spent taking actual college classes. This book came out after youngest SIL had guided both couples away from AP classes and into college classes with duel credit for HS and College. The book came out after they had already graduated from HS with over 75 semester units of college work. This may or may not be something that would be of value to your kid.

I remember back when I was in HS the math teacher said something about, “those who find algebra difficult often find geometry to be a breeze, and visa versa. I found that to be true for me—loved geometry. Academically, 7th grade was the tough one for me. Hubby says they all were for tough for him. LOL

Geve, these are some of the most golden years you will have, but often they also coincide with the years when the teens are driving you nuts. LOL Seriously, hubby and I loved the teen years with all four of the kids and hope that the twenties are just as rewarding.

Come back from time to time and tell us how thing are going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-1999
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 5:55pm

Our daughter's evaluation is scheduled for March 4. Her IQ tests at 150, and she had straight A's until geometry last year, when the daily assignments and constant new material started challenging her focus. She was accepted into our state's Governor's School program (all Honors and AP courses) and her combination of social anxiety (in dealing with teachers), lack of focus, and organization had her almost flunking out. I dropped the ball in not realizing the severity of the issues -- she managed to get through the first quarter before I realized what we were dealing with. She really wants to remain in the program. But it is stressful. Wish we had discovered this sooner, more time to get the good habits in place, might have helped. Good luck with your journey, and thanks for replying.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 5:26pm

We're going through the same thing with our 12yo.  He's finishing up an 8-hour psychoeducational evaluation this week with a private psychologist which covers learning disabilities, ADD, and any other emotional/cognitive barriers to learning.  He managed to get through elementary school with no trouble other than immaturity, but things started falling apart in 6th grade.  Now that he's in 7th grade, he's having a hard time of it, though his teachers all say, "He's such a bright kid."  Hoping to get some answers SOON. 

I'm pretty sure his oldest sibling (now 20yo) had the same issue but he was so brilliant that he managed to slide through it all until he matured enough to start actually caring and learning to compensate.  12yo DS is not as smart and it's become obvious sooner.