14-year-old does not like girls yet

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
14-year-old does not like girls yet
14
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 4:42am
I have a 14-year-old boy who still does not like girls yet, or he is not telling us about it. Every time we ask him about it (if he likes a girl or has even talked to a girl), he goes mute. He is a very good-looking boy and likes all the boy stuff--wrestling, football, etc. More than once, a girl has tried to talk to him or say hi, and he just ignored them altogether! I know his dad started liking girls (too much) at a VERY early age. My son is very intelligent, and I am thinking maybe this has something to do with it (maybe not?). His dad tried to have a sex talk with him, but it embarrassed him to tears, so his dad had to stop the talk (I guess--I was not there--his dad told me about it). Should I be concerned--will he ever like girls?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 1:54am
Some great responses, but I’m not sure if your question was addressed.
Perhaps I’m reading your post too literally.
<<>>
Are you concerned that he may be gay?
I guess my biggest concern from your post is his “embarrassment to tears” from having dad talk to him about sex. 14 yr. olds do not generally cry when receiving this information. They may provide a lot of “ewwww.. gross” and eye rolls, and the thought of mom and dad “doing it” may send them barfing to the bathroom... but crying tells me there’s something more going on - most likely pressure.
Several things come to mind as possibilities..
I’m curious how dad presented this information?
He may likely sense your concern, and translates this into pressure to “get going.”
He may not be ready at all for this, with good reason. From what DD has confided, things can move pretty fast these days, even at 14. Then of course, there’s the pressure to report to his buddies his, “progress.” It’s not that uncommon to simply reject this entire issue until later if it makes him uncomfortable. He’s got a lot of time. I know many examples of guys who really weren’t seriously interested in girls until after high school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 2:14am
My DS is 17.. almost 18.. and still has never had a serious relationship. He has many true friends that are girls and it's great because there isn't the potential of a break-up to ruin the friendship. I see many girls flirt with him... and he flirts back... but everyone seems to know that he would rather kick a soccer ball than date.
He recently stayed with several soccer players overnight in the dorms for a college recruiting trip. The next day he informed me that he "might" need a gf in college. I was a little panicked... wondering what he had witnessed during the overnight... when he informed me that most of the guys have girlfriends who will do their laundry! I wished him luck with that and told him that any girl worth dating would insist that he do HER laundry! We'll see! I surely would not worry... the worries start when the relationships start!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 3:17am
Well, the gay issue is what I was worried about (although he is not feminine at all). He has a deeper voice than his dad right now! But after the posts, I think I can stop worrying. He is really, really shy, and I think maybe that is why he is so embarrassed about the "talk" and not interested in girls right now. I guess I just have to give it a few years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 11:40am

As usual, good advice daddio. I still haven't made much progress with my own DS regarding the sex talk stuff -- you've given me more encouragement and a reminder to try again.

Anyway ... just wondering how your holiday feast turned out. Okay? Or fabulous?

 

 

 

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