14-year-old does not like girls yet
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14-year-old does not like girls yet
| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 4:42am |
I have a 14-year-old boy who still does not like girls yet, or he is not telling us about it. Every time we ask him about it (if he likes a girl or has even talked to a girl), he goes mute. He is a very good-looking boy and likes all the boy stuff--wrestling, football, etc. More than once, a girl has tried to talk to him or say hi, and he just ignored them altogether! I know his dad started liking girls (too much) at a VERY early age. My son is very intelligent, and I am thinking maybe this has something to do with it (maybe not?). His dad tried to have a sex talk with him, but it embarrassed him to tears, so his dad had to stop the talk (I guess--I was not there--his dad told me about it). Should I be concerned--will he ever like girls?

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Perhaps I’m reading your post too literally.
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Are you concerned that he may be gay?
I guess my biggest concern from your post is his “embarrassment to tears” from having dad talk to him about sex. 14 yr. olds do not generally cry when receiving this information. They may provide a lot of “ewwww.. gross” and eye rolls, and the thought of mom and dad “doing it” may send them barfing to the bathroom... but crying tells me there’s something more going on - most likely pressure.
Several things come to mind as possibilities..
I’m curious how dad presented this information?
He may likely sense your concern, and translates this into pressure to “get going.”
He may not be ready at all for this, with good reason. From what DD has confided, things can move pretty fast these days, even at 14. Then of course, there’s the pressure to report to his buddies his, “progress.” It’s not that uncommon to simply reject this entire issue until later if it makes him uncomfortable. He’s got a lot of time. I know many examples of guys who really weren’t seriously interested in girls until after high school.
He recently stayed with several soccer players overnight in the dorms for a college recruiting trip. The next day he informed me that he "might" need a gf in college. I was a little panicked... wondering what he had witnessed during the overnight... when he informed me that most of the guys have girlfriends who will do their laundry! I wished him luck with that and told him that any girl worth dating would insist that he do HER laundry! We'll see! I surely would not worry... the worries start when the relationships start!
As usual, good advice daddio. I still haven't made much progress with my own DS regarding the sex talk stuff -- you've given me more encouragement and a reminder to try again.
Anyway ... just wondering how your holiday feast turned out. Okay? Or fabulous?
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