I agree that you can't give in just because the other parents did - yup, that's me, the "mean" mom!
If your major objection is "you're too young", would you be willing to do a wait-and-see with your dd - like if she still wants it in a year? Then if she changes her mind - or sees from watching her friends that it's not so great - you won't have to have the fight.
If you really object to the belly button piercing altogether - I don't like belly button piercings, myself - I guess you just have to say "no" and weather the storm.
I've been lucky that my DD16 has not expressed any interest in piercings - but I do see her doing all sorts of things to experiment with her look and trying to look attractive to guys - I think it's part of the development of this age. Not just 'am I sexy' but "what else am I?"
I have a 17 yo son and he even said to me a few weeks back, "Mom, you'll never have to worry about me peircing or tattooing anything." He wears sort of baggy clothes but that is because up until last year he was 40 pounds overweight and either he was hiding behind them or just not having clothers that fit, now he finally is eager to buy clothes that DO fit. He is far from a GOODY-TWO shoes but he is sensible and seems to see through the pressures of trends imposed on his peers. I know he has had a few Big brother talks with his little sister about the stupidity of teens. I figured if she didn't back down her older brother would surely get onher case. All I know is she hasn't brought it up again, yet.
My 14 year old bbf for her birthday got her belly button pierced the start of summer. Then the whole circle of friends wanted it done as well. My answer was she could get her butt cheek done if she would like.That way she would be really cool and stand out from the crowd. I'd pay for it and take her. told all her friends too. No takers so far. Now school is about to start so were on to other fun fights.
OK, this is going to be wildly unpopular: my DD15 has a pierced belly button. She got it done a year ago, has had no problems with it, and still likes it. Furthermore, the sky didn't fall, she didn't begin drinking, drugging or prostituting herself (or even become sexually active), nor did it affect her reputation at all. She is still an honors student, a member of our highly ranked soccer team and an all-around good kid. No one sees her belly ring unless she wants them to- obviously folks see it when she is in swimwear, and the other girls in gym class and on the soccer team have seen it in the locker room. BTW, about 70% of her team have belly rings, as well as most of her friends. I believe she was one of the first of her group, because the "but so and so has one" argument never came up when she asked to get hers.
So, why did I say yes? I'm a big believer in choosing your battles and this just seemed like a very minor one. Yep, it's a body piercing, but it is one in a discreet location that few see on an everyday basis, and one that is easily removable and will grow back over in a matter of a few days without leaving visible scarring. As far as the idea that it is a "hey, look at my body" thing- unless a young lady is going to parade around with her tummy hanging out, no one is going to know it is there. If she is into baring her flesh inappropriately like that, you have bigger problems than the belly ring.....
Personally, I don't like belly rings, and every time my DD has asked for one, I've put her off and told her to think about it... and then I heard nothing more about it for a couple of months until one of her friends got theirs done. If she really pushed the issue, I'd probably let her get it done though. As Soccermom said, if she's bareing enough flesh that everyone sees it, we have other issues than the belly ring.
I agree with this poster. My younger daughter just pierced her belly button when she turned 18 so it wasn't an issue for us to address. I truly believe in this day and age, most teen girls (not all) like to have their belly buttons pierced, rather like having an extra ear piercing when I was in high school. I don't think it signifies that a girl "wants to be looked at"...it's just what teenage girls do these days. I'm not condoning it and if you, as a parent, feel otherwise, I would stick to your convictions. But I didn't see any harm in it.
At 17, my daugther begged us to have her lip pierced. That's where we drew the line and said NO and at 18, a year later, she still wanted it and went to have it done. We're adjusting to it. It might be a phase that she'll tire once she's in college. But I must admit, she waited in anticipation for entire year and didn't change her mind.
Well…One more standout.. :0) DD puts herself together well, dresses nicely; even somewhat conservatively. No over the top weird stuff. Yet for some odd reason she thinks piercings look “cool.” She even asked me if it’s OK to get a little stud on the top of her ear in the cartilage. I said No Way... No How... No body metal and. no tattoos. Nothing other than her double pierced earlobe piercings. If she wants to adorn her face in fashion to raiding the neighboring village, she must wait until she moves out. Old Daddio bends like a willow branch. The belly piercing was a compromise. She agreed that this would be “it.” No more asking for any other. I agreed, as long as I would accompany her and be present the entire time. The device used would have to be either in a sealed medical container or in an autoclave, and the prep would have to be completely sterile. So… off we went to the charming tattoo parlor where they do this. I met owners, Zack and Carlos, covered from head to toe in body art. I met Beverly,-“Call me Repo.” (yes..I was afraid to ask) who actually did the piercing and inserted the little stud pin. I must say, they were as careful and professional as any medical doctor. Gave DD lengthy instruction to keep the area free from infection. Gave DD a bottle of disinfectant. They were very nice and pleasant to talk with. They were obviously in tune to my uneasiness with the entire thing, not to mention I looked like a fish out of water. What an experience. lol
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I agree that you can't give in just because the other parents did - yup, that's me, the "mean" mom!
If your major objection is "you're too young", would you be willing to do a wait-and-see with your dd - like if she still wants it in a year? Then if she changes her mind - or sees from watching her friends that it's not so great - you won't have to have the fight.
If you really object to the belly button piercing altogether - I don't like belly button piercings, myself - I guess you just have to say "no" and weather the storm.
I've been lucky that my DD16 has not expressed any interest in piercings - but I do see her doing all sorts of things to experiment with her look and trying to look attractive to guys - I think it's part of the development of this age. Not just 'am I sexy' but "what else am I?"
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My 14 year old bbf for her birthday got her belly button pierced the start of summer. Then the whole circle of friends wanted it done as well. My answer was she could get her butt cheek done if she would like.That way she would be really cool and stand out from the crowd. I'd pay for it and take her. told all her friends too. No takers so far. Now school is about to start so were on to other fun fights.
Kaila
< 2 girl teens & a girl tween >
OK, this is going to be wildly unpopular: my DD15 has a pierced belly button. She got it done a year ago, has had no problems with it, and still likes it. Furthermore, the sky didn't fall, she didn't begin drinking, drugging or prostituting herself (or even become sexually active), nor did it affect her reputation at all. She is still an honors student, a member of our highly ranked soccer team and an all-around good kid. No one sees her belly ring unless she wants them to- obviously folks see it when she is in swimwear, and the other girls in gym class and on the soccer team have seen it in the locker room. BTW, about 70% of her team have belly rings, as well as most of her friends. I believe she was one of the first of her group, because the "but so and so has one" argument never came up when she asked to get hers.
So, why did I say yes? I'm a big believer in choosing your battles and this just seemed like a very minor one. Yep, it's a body piercing, but it is one in a discreet location that few see on an everyday basis, and one that is easily removable and will grow back over in a matter of a few days without leaving visible scarring. As far as the idea that it is a "hey, look at my body" thing- unless a young lady is going to parade around with her tummy hanging out, no one is going to know it is there. If she is into baring her flesh inappropriately like that, you have bigger problems than the belly ring.....
Personally, I don't like belly rings, and every time my DD has asked for one, I've put her off and told her to think about it... and then I heard nothing more about it for a couple of months until one of her friends got theirs done. If she really pushed the issue, I'd probably let her get it done though. As Soccermom said, if she's bareing enough flesh that everyone sees it, we have other issues than the belly ring.
I agree with this poster. My younger daughter just pierced her belly button when she turned 18 so it wasn't an issue for us to address. I truly believe in this day and age, most teen girls (not all) like to have their belly buttons pierced, rather like having an extra ear piercing when I was in high school. I don't think it signifies that a girl "wants to be looked at"...it's just what teenage girls do these days. I'm not condoning it and if you, as a parent, feel otherwise, I would stick to your convictions. But I didn't see any harm in it.
At 17, my daugther begged us to have her lip pierced. That's where we drew the line and said NO and at 18, a year later, she still wanted it and went to have it done. We're adjusting to it. It might be a phase that she'll tire once she's in college. But I must admit, she waited in anticipation for entire year and didn't change her mind.
DD puts herself together well, dresses nicely; even somewhat conservatively. No over the top weird stuff. Yet for some odd reason she thinks piercings look “cool.” She even asked me if it’s OK to get a little stud on the top of her ear in the cartilage.
I said No Way... No How... No body metal and. no tattoos. Nothing other than her double pierced earlobe piercings.
If she wants to adorn her face in fashion to raiding the neighboring village, she must wait until she moves out.
Old Daddio bends like a willow branch.
The belly piercing was a compromise. She agreed that this would be “it.” No more asking for any other.
I agreed, as long as I would accompany her and be present the entire time. The device used would have to be either in a sealed medical container or in an autoclave, and the prep would have to be completely sterile.
So… off we went to the charming tattoo parlor where they do this. I met owners, Zack and Carlos, covered from head to toe in body art. I met Beverly,-“Call me Repo.” (yes..I was afraid to ask) who actually did the piercing and inserted the little stud pin. I must say, they were as careful and professional as any medical doctor. Gave DD lengthy instruction to keep the area free from infection. Gave DD a bottle of disinfectant. They were very nice and pleasant to talk with. They were obviously in tune to my uneasiness with the entire thing, not to mention I looked like a fish out of water.
What an experience. lol
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