14 yr. old and boyfriend HELP!!
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| Thu, 09-14-2006 - 12:06pm |
My 14yr. old daughter has had a boyfriend since June. They talk all the time on the phone and during the summer he would walk over to our house every once in awhile to hang out or go for walks when we were around. Sometimes I would take them to the community swimming pool or to a movie, supposedly to meet the rest of their group of friends. She has told me that he is very respectful of her boundaries and sex is not in the picture. We have always had the rule that she can only "group date", but I find that it seems to be morphing into "real dating" Now she wants to know if we can give her boyfriend a ride to the school football game and dance. Of course she says they are meeting the rest of her "group" of friends. Well I feel like this is a date but she says we're being irrational and we don't trust her. So I guess I just want to know:
--How do other parents set boundaries around dating?
--What constitutes a "group" date?
--Isn't she too young to be this involved with 1 person? and how do you change this?
Any help would be appreciated!!
Thanks

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I just wanted to say thanks to Seirith for her comment. I met my husband when I was 15 and I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I had dated a couple boys before him but that just didn't interest me. I was more mature than most of my girl friends and knew what i wanted to do with my life at a young age. He was also out of school already and working a full time job. I still spent time with my school friends and went to games and dances without him, he respected that I was young and needed to enjoy my time in high school. We married a year after I graduated and have been together for 22 years now.
Reading your comment made me feel better because I am going through the same situation with my 15 year old dd and around here people make me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing by letting her be involved with an 18 year old. He is an absolute sweetheart and is devoted to her. He has become a part of our family. They have group of friends who they spend their time with, usually at our house, but many times they prefer to just be by themselves or with mom and dad. When they are alone, I am not worried. They are mature and very responsible. I know they are sexually active. My dd is on birth control for medical reasons but they also use condoms. We have a very open honest relationship and have had many discussions about their future. Yes, I know this relationship may not survive and if it doesn't we will be there to support her. But there's no point in denying what it is now because we couldn't stop them if we wanted to, they would find a way to be together. Because we are so close I have always trusted her and i know for that reason I don't have to worry about her sneaking around.
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