14y.o. ds flunking every class!
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14y.o. ds flunking every class!
|Wed, 10-22-2003 - 11:54am|
I don't even know where to start when typing this message. My 14 y.o. ds is making me insane! He's always been a "spirited" child, but its out of control now. He is very intelligent (I've had him IQ tested several years ago). He's very bossy with the whole family (dd & 2 other ds's). Everything always has to be his way. He's rude to all of us. He does NOTHING to contribute to the household. I can't even get him to put his plate in the sink after eating breakfast, let alone any chores. His response is a simple "no" and he leaves the room. He's a freshman in high school this year. After having some problems last year in 8th grade in the public school with a couple of boys that were bugging him constantly and getting him into all kinds of trouble, I switched him to a local Christian school for the remainder of 8th grade. He now attends a Christian high school, as he refused to go back to the public school with these boys. He seems to like the school, he's made a few friends there. Its a small school - there are less than 50 kids in the freshman class. He is right now failing EVERY class. At first he was just failing Bible and English, now it is all of them. He keeps telling me that he will do better, but it only gets worse. I initiated a mandatory 1-hour study period every night for all the kids. What a joke! He monopolized all of my time so I couldn't pay any attention to the other 2 kids, and whined and complained the whole time about how he didn't understand the work and couldn't do it. He has a study hall period in school, which he completely wastes by doing nothing for that period. He tells me its "home" work so he won't do it in school. Trouble is, he's not doing it at home either. Last night he spent the whole night on the phone with his girlfriend, or chatting on the computer with friends, or sitting in front of his TV. He didn't even touch his school bag. We argue for hours EVERY night about the homework - as we did last night AGAIN, and frankly, I'm worn out!! He just keeps saying "later later later." In 3 months he will be 15 and wants to start driver's ed. right away. I've already told him "NO WAY!" The money that I would have spent on drivers ed. (since he's in private school, they don't offer it and I have to find private classes and pay for them), will be going towards his summer school since he's flunking everything and will no doubt be going there all summer. And I've told him that he will NOT be getting a driver's license because I will NOT pay the extra money for insurance because of his poor grades (you get discounts on insurance for good students). So I would think that this motivation would be enough for him to step back and realize what he's getting himself into here! But apparently its not! He's admitted to being lazy. He's even told me that he wants to marry a rich woman to take care of him while he sits around and watches TV all day. Sheesh! It just seems like he's fighting everything. He's good at drawing - like buildings and stuff. I told him maybe he should be an architect. That's a cool idea he thinks, but won't do anything toward that end. In fact, he won't do anything, period! Please help!! How do I motivate this child? How do I get him to see his potential? Like I said, he is highly intelligent - way above average IQ. How do I get him to do the darned homework? And put in more than 5 minutes doing it? He needs to study, like any other high school kid. And he doesn't. I don't see this getting any better until he gets some sort of eye opening epiphany here. Help me open this child's eyes!