14yr old sister & 21 yr old boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
14yr old sister & 21 yr old boyfriend
11
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 3:35pm
I am 20 years old and I have a 14 year old sister who has just confided in me that see has secretly seeing a 21 year old guy she met at the mall for 3 weeks now. She has not told my dad or her mom. I am trying to be a good big sister by giving her advice but not lecturing her. I told her I would go meet with the guy to see if he is someone she should continue dating before she introduces him to my dad and her mom. I hope all of you parents out there will let me know if what I am doing is right from a big sister stand point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2006
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 10:00am
I am a mom of a 14 year old daughter. She isn't dating at all yet,but I assure you that this is clearly inappropriate. Are they having sex? I am not sure how leniant your parents are, but if they so chose, they could have this 21 year old MAN arrested for statutory rape. It is CLEARLY against the law for an adult (18 or older) to have sexual relations with anyone under the age of 18. Does your sister look or dress older than she is? And this MAN knows that she is a young girl, barely a teenager? I am sorry, but this is not a good situation. At all! She needs to date boys her own age, in school. He is a grown MAN and shouldn't be romantically involved with someone who just entered high school. Actually, my stomach turns at the thought of it. You must talk to your sister and try to make her understand that he is at a completely different stage in his life than she most likely is. Is she just looking for attention? When I was 16, I accepted a date with a man i worked with. He was 21. I was soooo flattered that a MAN wanted to date me! Well, I was a virgin and was scared to death when he had his hands all over me the minute we were alone. He said "You accepted a date with a 21 year old man - what did you think was going to happen? I assumed you were already doing this or you wouldn't have agreed to go out with me!" I pleaded for him to take me home and I never saw him again. It was mortifying!

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