15 year old skipping school...
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| Wed, 10-18-2006 - 11:53am |
My 15 year old ds actually just called me to see if he could skip his next class!! He said that there is nothing going on in that class today and he is a head of everyone else!! He has missed 2 days so far this year because he was sick so I excused the absences! I get weekly e-mails from the high school and he has good attendance(only the 2) and grades!!
I told him to go to class and that I will check tonight to see if he attended the class and all others, I also said that if I have to I will check ever night to make sure he is going to all of his classes and if not there will be punishment for skipping school! This is his first year in high school, in grade and middle school he didn't even think about skipping class once and he loves high school so I am wondering where this came from?
He really is a great kid, his friends are good, but I don't know some of the new ones yet. Maybe they want someone to skip with them and my son wants to fit in because we are still kindof new to our city! I do know that they can get picked up be police for truncy and I would be so upset if he started down that road- I hear that they a very strict in this area and thats good because my son doesn't want to be in trouble ever, he is sensitive and doesn't even like it when I get upset with him, he always does what he is suppose to do! I really don't get why he called and asked to skip class!?

Is there something else that’s going on?
You describe a great kid. Loves high school. Doesn’t have attendance problems. Doesn’t want trouble.
He called to ask your permission.
I might have been curious and asked what he planned to do in lieu of attending class, but ultimately I would have said no just as you did.
My concern is your reaction. You basically stomped on him for asking, and announced a daily check up on his truthfulness and promised consequences.
I don’t want to seem harsh, but if you want your DS to continue communicating with you and asking for permission through his teen years, you may want to re-think this approach.
Save the threats of punishment for improper behavior, not for asking questions.
I guess you really don't have to worry when your kid is asking if he can skip class. When my DSD was in 9th grade, she was skipping school for about a week and the only reason I found out was that I caught her hiding in the basement since there was a big gap in time between when the high school started and my DS had to go to elementary school. At first, she said she was sick, but my DD said she hadn't been on the school bus. That is very serious because in our h.s., if you miss 5 days of school in a term, you will automatically fail, even if otherwise, you could pass the tests. She really ended up doing badly that year.
Maybe right now your DS is just bored or has a bad class, but it's early in the school year. I guess I would say to him that you wouldn't want him to get in the habit of skipping class because later in the year, he might miss something important and really extra lunch isn't a good reason to skip class.
It sounds like you have a really nice young man.
And I apologize for my soap box previous post.
Sometimes message boards are a challenge. Conveying an opinion in person is so much softer and easier.
And I'm *still* trying to learn how to think before I speak.
D
Goodluck with the "onset of makeup period" lol
My DD (now 16) went through a horrible, but fortunately brief, period around 12-13 where her and some of her friends were starting make up. I think the thought was - if a little bit looks good, a lot looks much better. It wasn't exactly a goth look, but the raccoon eyes were absolutely hilarious!
As far as 12 being too young, I'm sure the others here can answer that much better. I think there is subtle pre-teen makeup available such as lip gloss and such that may delay things a bit but still give them that "growed up" feeling.
Oh hey, daddio. I didn't think your soapbox wasn't all that high -- maybe only a pallet, actually. I thought you made some really good points.
My own DD told me just last week that her and her friends were considering ditching because it was just 'SO boring'. Then they considered that the only place they could ditch to that didn't have security cameras was the girls bathroom and hanging out there for 90 minutes didn't have much appeal -- especially for T, who is a boy.
So then they contemplated trying to sneak past the front office and by the security guard to walk to the nearby McDonalds (about 1.5 miles each way) but figured they'd have a tough time with that one, too.
My response? Maybe next time you can bribe the security guard with the promise of a Big Mac when you get back?
Talk about thinking before you speak?! I didn't even think those words; they just flew out of my mouth on their own volition. Not the first time this has happened, unfortunately.
This past weekend, I was at the cowboy store with hubby so he could get his favorite hat shaped -- yee haw! (He wasn't a cowboy when I married him 17 years ago, but things have changed a bit!) I browsed in the gifts section while we waited and saw a cute little sign I almost bought. I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like "Get a good taste of your words before you spit them out". Cowboy wisdom, I guess.