15yo Boy SOSO SELFISH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
15yo Boy SOSO SELFISH!
10
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 1:48pm

Did I fail as a Mom of an only child? My 15yo son is so so very selfish. Though I get the daily hug and kiss before school and before bedtime, the

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 2:28pm

Welll...I don't know your boy, but I doubt it's you.He has friends, how is he with his friends parents? I feel the same way alot of the time with DD, almost 16, as far as her being lazy and selfish at home. Especially when I hear how wonderful and mature and helpful etc. she is from teachers, other parents, the youth group people when she used to travel with the group, I feel like, "You're sure you're talking about MY KID?" It's obvious from "outsiders" enjoyment of her company that whatever she learned at home has taken ahold in the REAL WORLD. I suspect it's the same with your DS.

Then theres HOME. I can't say my DD is impossible or anything (I survived one that tried to be), but with all of them, barring DD#2's hell years from about 14 1/2 on, there seems to be an idea that all the stresses and uncertainty and the bullying and crap (YES there is bullying and crap involved in large friendship groups) that they suck up elsewhere- has a SAFE release AT HOME if they feel confident in their parents unconditional love. I don't know if that came out right. And to think I used to be considered a "writer", HAH!!

I personally haven't raised boys, but from hearsay, they are the WORST at emotional expression with their parents. Alot of the moms of boys that I know would be thrilled to get that daily hug and kiss. What exactly are you trying to get across to him that you feel he isn't getting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 3:42pm

Well I'm the mom of a 15 yr old so you can read my post & see that this is pretty similar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 3:51pm

Normal behavior for a 15 year old boy. I am impressed that he hugs you

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 4:39pm

I don't think he sounds that unusual.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 5:13pm

Yup. Sound about right. At least that has been my experience with my son(he's a miserable 17.5). I agree with everyone else though. A hug in the morning and at night. That's very sweet. Not in years around here. I'm lucky if I get a hello in the morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 7:22pm

Mom of 3 DSs here, 26, 26 and 23 y/o. (plus a DD 19).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 8:51pm

kids want US to PLEASE them, they want things, money, rewards, compliments, priveledges etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 10:45am

Thanks very much for your responses. They made me feel better, but I most agree with fullmom2, who

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 1:43pm

I remember going to DD's parent-teacher confs. & the teachers would all say "Oh Sarah is such a nice girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 7:55pm

Why disconcerning? IT IS NORMAL.

We are always cranky with the people we love the most and with whom we know love us. That's how teens act. He is doing what he is should be doing. Be pleased and proud with that. He is a reflection of his upbringing.

Our kids are not here to fill any voids in our lives.