16 year old ds always sick misses school

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
16 year old ds always sick misses school
7
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 9:11am
I just don't know what to do or think of my son, he's 16 and always whines in the morning that he has a stomach ache and problems w/the bowel...he had a fischer(not sure of the spelling) and it took about 6 months to heal , it was very painful for him when he had a bowel movement..he gets no excersie and sits in front of the comp..so he has no strength in his stomach to support when he lifts someting or jumps and alot of the strain goes to his anal area in turn stresses out the muscles and he's sore..anyway it's all the time..he will text me from school that he doesn't feel good and needs to go home..as i type , it's 10;00 and he's still in bed...he texted me yesterday said he had diareia and wanted to come home..i stopeed responding and he was made to stay in school and then go to work right after...he now says his butt hurts and he has a stomach ache..but come 4:00 he'll be fine..well have a check up scheduled for him at 4:00 today and will express my problem with him...i think my son is just plain lazy..he has cried wolf too many times and the one time, he was actually sick, i left him laying on the couch and he called later that morning in extreme pain ..well several hours later, he had surgery for an apendisitius...so i don't know what to think, its frustrating cuz i work full time and to get him up and out the door so i can get ready for work is becoming a chore!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 9:59am

Medical problems not withstanding, is there something else going on in school that is causing your DS to feel stressed? The reason I ask is because my when my DS was in 1st grade (I know, not quite the same thing) he had a gazillion tummy aches, I feel hots, don't feel goods, etc., because he was terrified of his teacher and didn't want to face her every day. Truth was he really DID have acid reflux tummy aches due to the stress was feeling.

Since your DS feels fine at 4:00, I'd venture to guess there is something other than the medical issues going on. After your doctor appointment today, and before dismissing his complaints as laziness, try and find out what is really going on at school.

Is he being bullied? Teased? Isolated? Is he over his head academically?

Just some thoughts. I hope you get to the root of the trouble soon.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:37am

i agree with the other poster that it sounds like 'something else ' is going on with your son.

OTOH - he does have a medical condition that HE needs to start to take responsibility for it. he MUST exercise and he MUST start eating healthy food or the fisure will keep coming back. do you think he would listen to a dietician?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 1:05pm
WEll, medically , i guess part of it could be that he takes Zoloft and i think this could upset the stomach..he was diagnosed as clinically deparessed at age 12 so the peditrician started him on this ..he wants to stop using it so i have him now wheened to 1/2 in the a.m. and 1 at night...a sympton of depression is have problems w/your digestive system but he claims to feel fine in that area..i know i often hear him say to a friend on the phone or have seen his messages indicating that he needs to get a girlfriend..he has never really had a girlfriend and all his friends do..he was always the girls *bestfriend . he has a date for the semi which he's excited about but it's a date, he hasn't asked to take her out prior to it yet. he spends alot of time on the computer and sometimes we fight w/him to get him off and he does'nt get enough sleep...so sometimes i think he's just tired...he got up today at 10:00 and felt better showered and went to school...he has been asking to get his cartlidged pierced..come to think of it..he was letting his hair grow for quiet some time now and all of a sudden he asked if he can get a hair cut, it looks really nice and now he wants his cartledge in his ear pierced...he already has a pierced lobe...he was asking about 3 months ago to have his eyebrow pierced..THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTE NO"..i just don't think it looks nice but i think we are going to allow him to have his cartledge pierced..maybe he is trying to fnid an identity for himeself..i definetely am goiing to bring this up to his doctor..the doc did tell me one time he has the acid reflux and to stay away from the MtDew...my son is almost 17..i can't watch him and hand feed him like a toddler..he needs to eat more fruit, less snack and more water..he doesn't and that could also be part of his problem..he's also been complaining that he's fat..he's not, but he's not athletic either..he was playing soccer for years and last year did not sign back up. he drives me crazy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 1:06pm
no,like i was saying to the last post, my son knows he needs to eat better and to excersie but he doesn't , he comes home from school when he's not working and ploops down infront of the computer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 1:23pm

There is definitely a lot going on there. I had something similar go on with my 14 yo daughter recently, minus the medical problems. She was on zoloft too and was not wanting to go to school, unable to sleep and calling me when she was at school begging me to pick her up. One thing we did was to go back to her doc and change her medication. She is now on prozac. We just started it and phased out of zoloft, so I have yet to decide if it's helping. I also started limiting her computer time. I told her I wanted her to spend time on other things and she has although she still gets mad when I enforce the computer time rule. Oh well. She is reading more, and playing video games sometimes. But she gets bored and actually goes to bed earlier now! haha.

Another thing I did, just to break the staying home/calling from school cycle was to bribe her. I don't care what anyone else thinks about bribing, it worked for us. I told her if she made it through the rest of the week without calling me from school or begging to stay home every morning I would buy her dinner at her favorite place on Friday. We are pretty strapped financially, so it really was a treat. She told me a couple times that week that I sucked for bribing her like that, in a joking way, she wanted that meal pretty bad. She made it, we ate, and it broke the cycle she was in.

I did talk to her to try and find out if something else was going on and she goes weekly to a psychologist. I never did hear if something specific was making her not want to go. But I got the impression it was a general sick off/overwhelmed/depressed kind of thing, not something specific. I remind her often that depression can be a hormonal or chemical thing and that she should try and remember that because it always helps me to know it may be a temporary feeling.

I would encourage you to talk to the docs, consider a different med, maybe limit the computer time. Bribing may work too, oh, I mean rewarding him....haha...you may want to consider rewarding him for exercising. Maybe you could start simply by walking together even if it's just walking to the video store or someplace for dinner or something.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 3:29pm
All I can say is I know what you are going through. I am currently all excited (really) because it has now been 3 school days that DD doesn't throw up or is sitting on toilet claiming her tummy or head or body hurts. I hope this is the start of something...
I am also in the process of trying to "see the bigger picture" with a psychiatrist. I am working on scheduling her first appointment. At the pediatrician's recommendation. Good luck to you and many many hugs. I know I need them way too often lately.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 7:56pm
WE took the car away today..omg, it was a horrible day and i think we will have many more..it was a tough weekend, he was mouthy, disrespectful, didn't want to help his dad w/things around the house cuz he was told he could not sleep at a friends house so he refused to help, he ended up helping but was sarcastic all day and miserable..he woke this morning w/a stomach ache and threw up his cereal..well, maybe he didn't have a project done, i can stick my finger down my throat too and show in the tolit that i puked...i don't know. so he refused to go to school slept all day, his father was home most of the day making himself available to take him to school..then he had work well he got up for that but was complaining and nasty to my husband asking him what kind of father is he to treat him that way when he's throwing up. that he did nothing to lose the car. that he needed the car for work/school and guitar practice..we said we would give him rides and he can take the bus to school..this will be a hell of a few days but we have to do this to make him realize what he has and how he has been acting..anyone else have this trouble w/their 16 yr old ds?