17 yr old depressed daughter

Hi and welcome to the board. My almost 25 year old ds struggled for a few years with an eating disorder, which is also an emotional disorder. He had to leave college twice due to it, the second time because he had hit bottom and was severely depressed. That was almost 4 1/2 years ago and he's now in his first year of med school. I just want you to know that with the right meds and with counseling it can get better. As far as your feelings - I understand that, too. I spent a lot of time feeling guilty, wondering what I could have done differently to prevent all that from happening. But it's not your fault. We all do the best we can as parents and none of us are perfect. One thing that helped me a lot was that they had a weekly support group for the families of the people in treatment for eating disorders. It helped me see that our wasn't the only one going through this.You might ask your dd's therapist if there's any type of support group in your area for families of those suffering from depression. Many gentle hugs to you and please keep us posted.

I can totally relate to the guilt, irrational though it may be. My daughter was diagnosed with depression last year (and my son was already on meds for depression and anxiety), so I felt like the world's crappiest mother. And I so remember wondering why my friends' kids seemed to have it all together, but EKmama is right--you really don't know what they have to fake and suffer through just to keep going. As it turns out, some of the kids I thought were fine had eating disorders, divorcing parents, and one was actually shipped off to boarding school because of her drug and alcohol problems. I think most families believe they are suffering alone, but it just isn't true. You probably look like a fantastic, together person to the people around you, and some of them may be wondering how you manage it. I sometimes think the world would be better off if we all lived honestly and fell apart when we needed to.

My daughter is still on meds but is doing so well at her new school--we pulled her out of her high pressure public school and sent her, by her choice, to a small private school--that no one there could even guess what a mess she was last year. The one good thing about having gone through this is that she is now very aware of things that can trigger depression in her (too much structure, not enough down time)