17yo stealing, need help
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 09-29-2010 - 12:55pm|
There's a whole lot of back story to this that I'm not going to get into, mainly because no one has the time to read page after page of it. So I'll cut to the chase.
I have a 17yo son who lives with his dad, again looooong story, he has a history of taking things that don't belong to him. Candy bar at the gas station, money out of purses, and strong suspicion of taking fund raising money.
When he's been caught he never seems to be sorry for doing it, but because he got caught. When asked why he did it his main reason is because he wanted to.
I think, due to the whole back story, it's a way for him to control something. He wants it, he'll get it, regardless of how. And that thought fits in with what I know of shop lifters. Both the, because I want to, as well as a way to control something.
Recently he got into a drawer at his fathers house and took a credit card racking up about $100 using it on video games you have to pay for in order to advance your character. You don't *have* to spend the money to be able to play, but because he wants the extra stuff he found a way to get the money.
Dad and SM called the cops to put some fear in him. Cuffed him and put him in the back of the cruiser. The cop was going to take him to the station and carry the fear factor as far as they could but after seeing the 17yo acting remorseful and crying decided he had learned his lesson and let him go.
Problem is, he's gotten very good at telling you what he thinks you want to hear. He's seen several counselors of dad and sm's choosing and he's done the same with all of them. He'll cry, he'll say the right words, you name it, he's done it and they believe him. But it doesn't change anything and he's right back to doing stupid stuff.
Now he's been caught stealing something more then a candy bar and dad is quite ticked off about it, and with good reason. Question is, what do we do?
I don't want to see him land in jail, but if it comes to that then maybe it's something he needs to do. However, I don't think that'll change anything, it won't help him...except to maybe make him smarter when he goes to steal something.
So what other options are out there? More counseling? But with who? Or what kind of counseling? Who's going to see beyond all the BS that this child likes to pull, especially since he's so good at figuring out what it is you want to hear.
Are there programs out there I should be looking into?
I think this goes beyond "Because I wanted it" but how to find someone who can see that, not be influenced by my thoughts or his dad/sm's thoughts and see the child for himself and what he thinks, I just don't have a clue.
Hopefully someone has a clue and can point me in the right direction.