18 year old daughter in therapy
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18 year old daughter in therapy
| Tue, 04-25-2006 - 11:36am |
Hi, My 18 year old daughter is going to start therapy this Thursday. She came to me last week and said she couldn't handle the stress herself she needs someone to talk to.
We have had a pretty bad time at home the last two years, financial. Just when we were getting on our feet from a failed business, my husband had a heart attack and we were back in deeper than ever. Through all of this she has been trying to get the funds for college and concentrating on her senior year. Plus a million other things that teenagers have to deal with plus the added stress of things at home.
I was just wondering if anyone has had older teenagers in therapy and what I can expect from this. I have to admit, I am rather afraid.
Thanks,
Andie

My oldest attended therapy while she was a freshman and sophmore in college. She needed to resolve alot of things related to her dad and his alcoholism and the poor way I dealt with it. One thing you can expect is that she may or may not want to discuss the sessions with you afterward - probably not. Mine preferred to think on it and keep that to herself. I never really knew what was said in those sessions and am probably glad I didn't b/c she had alot of anger toward me (understandbly so). We talked quite a lot about this whole issue during the end of her sophmore year and then again the year after she graduated college and are very, very close now.
DD was also extremely quiet and stayed to herself alot during this time. She just needed time to sort things out for herself and figure out to move beyond the past.
Since your DD is going for a different reason, she may come home and suddenly want to talk to you or take some walks or do things differenly than in the past. Hopefully, the therapist will teach her some alternative ways of dealing with her stress so you may see some changes in her routine. Try to be a little more patient than usual b/c the changes in her routine will no doubt cause changes in your routine as well.
Good Luck and congratulations on raising a young lady that has the good sense to realize when she needs help and to ask for it. Since she requested it, the likelihood of it being effective are much greater than if you made her go.
Best wishes to you all!
Thank you so much. That actually made me feel better, you pointed things out that I hadn't thought of.
Glad to you hear all is well with you and your daughter. Daughters are a true joy and I have been so blessed with her. I think this is why is frightened me a bit.
Thanks so much again!!!
Andie
Andie,
I am a strong supporter of seeking outside help. As moms we are way too emotionally involved to be able to offer non biased support.
Both of my kids have been in counseling at different times for different issues. Both had wonderful experiences, a wonderful counselor and achieved personal growth.
I need to echo what the previous poster said which is, it is quite common for the kids not to want to talk about their sessions and not to want to be asked.
Audrey :)
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Audrey :)
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Thank you so much, I am glad to hear that this is not a bad thing.
I will not be surprised then if she does not go over with me what they talk about!
Andie
my son is almost 20, he was in therapy when he was younger (and i was still married to me now-ex/his now-ex step father) and then he went back about a year ago.
Therapy can be a wonderful tool if the person wants it, and is willing to do the work. you are right - just plain simple life can be stressful, and when you throw in some traumas into the equation - it makes things even more difficult. remember that teens have a tendency of seeing life as black and white/good or bad and so its possible that what we - adults - see as a 'problem but we will get past it', as something really terrible, hopeless situation.
let us know how it goes.
I will keep you posted.
We go today just to talk to the therapist and as she put it "discuss some things between all of us." I don't whether to speak up or not. My daughter just wants to talk to her. My daughter and I are very close and we do talk, right now, she just needs someone else who can see things outside of the problems we are having. Maybe I just will sit and listen. Not any easy thing for me, I assure you!!!!
Andie