1st timer here and I have a questioon...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
1st timer here and I have a questioon...
6
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 3:59pm

Hello-

I have 3 boys ages 8, 10 and 12 and a daughter that is 2. The question is regarding my 12 year old son. He has never given me a day of grief. He is SUCH A GOOD BOY (I know that everyone says that about their own child), and has always been my easiest child. We really enjoy hanging out together and he makes me laugh a lot with his funny sense of humor. SUDDENLY, he has CHANGED! At least towards his family. He has the same friends he always has had and all of their parents constantly tell me how wonderful he is and how polite and well mannered he is, etc etc. He is very popular in school and in the neighborhood and is just all around well liked because he is so nice to everyone...so why have "I" become such a pain in his rear??? He complains about everything now and his sense of humor has changed from funny to sarcastic. I can take a bit of sarcasim but this is becoming annoying!

I know that this change is normal due to hormonal fluctuations etc but come on!?!?! Is it really that uncontrollable? I don't remember being this bad when I was his age! Or was I?

MY QUESTION: How long does this "stage" last? It certainly appeared like clockwork (middle school age) so is there a magical time that it disappears??? Please say yes!!!

ANOTHER QUESTION: How do I deal with him? Should I ignore his eye-rolling and smart mouth or ground him or WHAT?

I know I am probably not the first to ask these questions and I know there is a preteen board, but I am hoping that you all have gone through this stage and made it out (with kids alive) and will be able to offer some kind of insight as to how to best deal with my son.

Thank you in advance for your help!

Stephanie :)

Stephanie :)

"Mom" to 3 great boys and 1 beautiful girl

Avatar for ivillage_sista
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 5:55pm

Hi there

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:16pm

Hi and welcome to the board!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 6:41am

Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 4:02pm

I have the same thing. My DS is 15 and we still have bouts of Mr. Moody; it comes and goes. It has gotten much better, but for a while there I thought is there a sign on my back that says "kick me"? I didn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:53pm

Thanks everyone! I will follow your lead and be as understanding as possible...

I know my "good kid" is still there and I will just try and remember that when his "evil twin" appears :)

I feel like I am in such good company on this board! Thanks again!

Stephanie

Stephanie :)

"Mom" to 3 great boys and 1 beautiful girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 11:11am

I've been out of town for the last several days and am catching up a bit here. I had to laugh at your post because I wrote a similar one not long ago.

I too, have a 12yo DS and was taken aback by the changes in his personality the last few months -- sullen, moody, holing up in his bedroom, etc. Also like you, I got affirmation from this board that it was all NORMAL.

Yesterday when we landed on our flight home, I was getting all our carry on bags out of the overhead (both my DS and DD are big enough to get them by themselves, but since I was first out I thought I'd do it for them) and DS got a annoyed with me because I "was taking too much time and holding everybody else up"! We were in the last 3 rows of the plane so I was holding up a grand total of a dozen people and it's a given right? It takes some time to get that stuff out of the overheads and well, you just have to wait your turn.

Hang in there! I'm told it does get better and I'm waiting for that day, too.

Julie