acne help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
acne help
21
Sat, 08-19-2006 - 11:05pm
my daughter's acne is getting worse in spite of us trying nearly everything on the market. Proactive, benzoyl peroxide, salicylic acid, natural stuff, antibiotic wash, noxzema, etc.....
HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 2:25am
Oh, wow, thanks so much for this post about acne! This is my first time on this web site. My 14 year old has had acne since she was about 10 or 11. It has been such a life changer. It definitely hurt her socially! I have tried everything, and the doctor said she will be scarred. She is afraid of the monthly blood tests for the accutane, and I am afraid of depression and suicidal thoughts! That is the worst risk possible it seems. We are moving and she will be starting high school. So I wanted her to get a good start. She had agreed to the accutane! Then I took her to a top doctor in NYC rated number one in New York magazine for laser treatments for acne and his associate prescribs one more roun of antibiotics. My daughter got a facial afterwards at his office--as they have a spa there. Anyway, the facialist tells my daughter the antibiotics will give her cancer because of the sun and instructs her not to take them until October. Now, my daughter will take no treatment. She has a phobia about doctors and needles and medicine anyway that my 13 year old daughter and I can't understand. The acne is playing havoc with her life. I wish I had the guts to talk her in to accutane. It has really effected the way the kids treated her at school. When the acne came some of her friends shunned her. I have been searching for a site where I could talk to a mom about this, as I feel I don't want to embarrass her with friends' moms. So, thanks a milion! I'd do anything to get rid of her acne--but risk depression...and that terrible, unthinkable side effect.
Thanks again so much--this was the most helpful, thoughtful post I've ever read on this topic! If I can ever help you with anything, just ask. I have a talk show where I interview alot of experts. So, I do get a chance to pick people's brains. So, I hear alot of tips. But there is nothing like hearing what another mom has experienced.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2007
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 6:37am

Hi - I don't have a teenager (yet) but my oldest is starting to get pimples. I just wandered over here to see what kinds of concerns other mothers had about teens.

Anyway, my siblings and I never had perfect skin as teens but one of my sisters had terrible, painful, cystic acne. None of those creams or treatments helped. She was finally diagnosed with PCOS and given hormone treatments. While birth control can often be used as a hormone treatment - sometimes it isn't strong enough. It's worth taking your daughter to a gynecologist if nothing at all helps because it could be hormonal and my sister found it was quite easily treatable.

Hope this helps. I've bought my pre-teen some products from Lush (can be bought online if there's not one near you) and the body shop because she has sensitive skin. A product called Herbalism (from Lush) has actually worked quite well for her.

Another thing that can really aggravate acne is scrubbing at it too much - I've been told that gentler products usually work better. And thanks to an earlier poster for the pillow case tip - I hadn't thought of that. I disinfect the phones in the house which is a similar tactic.

Avatar for mom3girls2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2000
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 1:38pm

>>the antibiotics will give her cancer because of the sun and instructs her not to take them until October.<<

That facialist tech should be reported to her supervisor and told that what she did is inappropriate. She should not be advising her clients of their other treatments, that's why they pay their physicians.

Taking certain antibiotics makes one more susceptible to skin cancer, and care needs to be used when exposure to the sun is expected; sometimes sun exposure is unavoidable. HOWEVER -- one can definitely become sunburned in the winter, even when skiing! The month is irrelevant. HOWEVER -- IF YOU PROTECT YOURSELF SUFFICIENTLY FROM THE SUN, YOU CAN CERTAINLY TAKE THE MEDICATION ANYWAY, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S NECESSARY! SHE SHOULD TALK TO THE DOCTOR! There is super-high SPF sunblock, SPF-treated clothing, not to mention good old long-sleeves and hats. She should discuss her typical outdoor activities and plans, etc., with the DOCTOR.

Perhaps the two of you can agree to make and go to an appointment with the doctor just to talk!

I know you wrote that she is afraid of medical stuff, but maybe if you sit with her and explain how you can see the acne's affected her life, starting out HS with a different look/outlook might change her whole life. Dd15 used to be the same until she decided she loved camp so much she had to have certain vaccine boosters, tetanus, tb test, etc., every year. She'd never needed any until she was 14 ... so she gripped my arms/hands so hard she almost broke my skin! Idk if I'd want my kids on accutane, though, but I certainly would encourage the antibiotics and laser, especially since you are willing to both pay for it and take her!

I suppose my kids lucked out in the acne area. They have hardly any compared to what I had, and dh says he had more too!

On the friend issue, if kids are shunning her because of a skin condition, are they such great friends anyway? Not all of her peers have to be her friends! This is a difficult age anyway, as far as friendships go, but it's one way to weed out the jerks and superficial, insensitive clods.

You have a talk show? Where/when/what kind?

Good luck to you and your dd!
---
In peace,
Max

In peace,
Max       

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 6:39pm
Thanks so much for your advice! I really haven't had anyone I wanted to dump this acne problem on--especially since it embarrasses her. She doesn't talk about it to her best friend or her sister. Yes, that's an excellent point about getting the shots for camp. You are right about not being true friends. We sent our girls to a small, private and snobbish school, where we found out if you weren't perfect, you were shunned. My daughter was "perfect" enough by their standards up until the acne--then the girls she knew since she was three left her out suddenly. A few stayed the course, even going to the acne doctor with us! A lot of the parents were friendly with me. One begged me to have my daughter go to the high school with the same girls that shunned her after the acne came. I finally said to my friend: "Before you do everything to pressure us to go to that school be honest with me and tell me why my daughter was shunned and left out by former "friends." Don't keep telling me it's just because she never calls anybody or reaches out. Finally, my friend said that when they discovered boys, the boys gave each girl thumbs up or thumbs down. Also, if you were seen with a girl that got thumbs down the boys wouldn't hang with you. Well, at last I knew. The math teacher said to me at the end of the year that the cliques caused by the parents fractured the class so much that it interfered with learning. I didn't ask--he just volunteered this out of the blue when I was buying a book. I asked if anything was wrong with my daughter and he said: no, just the opposite. She must have a strong emotional make up to have endured what she did at this school. Wow--I couldn't believe it. But I was glad to hear reality. She gets along great at camp and in the neighborhood and in Florida, where we go visit cousins. I read the book Odd Girl Out and Queen Be, Wanna Be and there was a box with traits that make you accepted--looks, brains, etc. Then there were 4 traits that keep you out: acne was first, overweight. being gay, and having radical opinions. My daughter just wants a fresh start. The teacher wrote home, she is very special in that every day she tries to be helpful and kind to everyone she comes in contact with. I am glad she survived this being dropped biz. But I so regret having kept her in this snobby, small school. Her sister's entire grade only has about 12 girls--all perfect preppies. And my 14-year-old daughter's has 18. Some kids had no friends at all. Most only had one or two. We missed a going away party and a mother said to me you didn't miss anything-- just cliques standing around separated. I am going to have to really work on this acne--thanks for the advice. My daughters left this school hating snobbism. We looked at schools where we are moving. My 9th grader was accepted at a great school with an award-winning art department--her love. She said I won't go to school with snobs Mom. It's odd. That's what I disliked about our town when we moved here--altho it's beyond lovely. But I hate people that judge by money, looks, size of house...anything but the heart and mind of the person. Well, thanks for listening!! It's not something I can say to my neighbors, except for those that left in droves to go other schools when it got real cliquesh in 6th grade--being smarter than me. Oh, yeah, you can read about the talk show by logging on to darydayshow.com. I do a blog on it--and my latest is on how tough the teen years are and why I'm not going full throttle with my career because of it. Let me know how your teen is doing. Is everything going well? My other is fine--as she is a size two with good skin, awards in athletics and is on high honor roll. My other daughter is just as sweet. She just inherited my hub's acne...which I really am going to get fixed somehow as the doctor said it will result in scarring. Thanks! Dary P.S. I just saw you are from Philly-I grew up 18 miles from there in New Jersey. I used to go to American Bandsand in Philly when I was a teen!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 7:22pm
Oh, wow, we are walking the same path...We've tried the antibiotic, etc. route for four years. The doctor said my daughter will be scarred. Lots of people I know have used accutane successfully. My daughter's afraid of getting needles and refuses and I am afraid of side efffects such as depression... I am going to have her try another round of antibiotics...then I am checking out laser again--one Dr. already said the acne is too deep for laser. But that is supposedly good if you are a candidate. I am going to look up two new things I heard about and send them to you...after that it is accutane I guess for me and a lot of praying...Best, Dary
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 7:24pm
By retin A, do you mean accutane pills?Thanks, Dary
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 7:30pm
If by retin A they mean accutane--then accutane can't be used if you are pregnant. You have to take two pregnancy tests to prove you are not pregnant as it causes fetal damage. Also, you must be on birth control. But I don't know if retin A and accutane are the same...I am going to find out and I'll let you know. Acne is the pits because of the side effects, the emotional toll, and you can't tell your daughter she doesn't look good. Mine says to me--it's not a real illness...I don't know what to say. I don't want scarring...Good Luck, Dary
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 8:53pm
We are using the acne kit from Arbonne. It comes with a complete system and some supplements. When I say her skin went from being pretty hard to look at, to being beautiful with just the occasional cluster of them on her forehead during her cycle, it's no exaggeration. If she misses the supplements for a few days, her skin breaks out, but if she is religious with doing everything like she is supposed to, her skin looks great! I am a distributor of the stuff now so I can get a discount. If anyone here wants to try it, you can go to arbonne.com or just ask me about it. I'm not out to make any $$$, I just really think the stuff works. I'd rather see everyone just sign up for their own accounts and buy the products so they can see for themselves. My daughter's friend is using it too, and her skin looks great as well.
Avatar for mom3girls2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2000
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 11:13pm

Wow, Dary, and you said you can't write! Your posts are as long as some of mine :::wink:::.

Ikwym about asking your kids friends' parents! That's what I like about iVillage. It connects us to the kinds of parents we want to ask (like parents of 3 year olds, parents of all girls, parents of special needs kids, etc.), for different topics.

I looked at your profile afterward and saw all about your talk show, that is cool! You're in Toms River; I've heard of that but never have been there. My BIL (dh's bro) lives in Pine Valley next to the golf course; besides that and the Jersey shore (Brigantine & points south), occasional trips to Cherry Hill Mall or Deptford Mall, and sometimes farmers markets, that's my exposure to NJ LOL. Although I love the shore, and in fact, my summer's not complete without at least one weekend stay somewhere there. This year our main summer vacay is Ocean City, Maryland, but for Labor Day weekend, we're going back to Wildwood Crest :D. Where in NJ did you live? My 20dd's bf is from Paulsboro, and dh used to work (a really long time ago) at the Gaudios' stores in Woodbury & then Audubon. I was born in 1960 -- wanted so bad to go to American Bandstand but my parents I guess felt we (I'm a twin) were too young or something, tsk ;)!

All my kids went to a small (although not as small as your kids' school, it sounds; there were approx. 2 classes per grade, of 16 - 20 kids per class) private school from 1st grade to 7th, the oldest and youngest through 8th, and the 'baby' started in kindergarten, and they all told me about the snobbishness in part of 6th grade, all of 7th and part of 8th grade. It can be rough.

My girls didn't go through acne, but they inherited both my & dh's tendancy to be overweight. My oldest has the 2nd unfortunate inheritance of being short, so she's got a double whammy -- flawless mediterranean complexion, but short and fat :(. She hated high school. Now she's about to enter her junior year at Hofstra, and she is happy and successful. The other two are not as heavy as their older sister, but still not anywhere near size two! My goodness, I think I was a size 10 once, for about a minute, one time in college ROFLMBO! Snobby young teenage girls can really put the ones they deem the "outcasts" through the wringer! Being a twin, being overweight, and being shy, my sister and I suffered through a number of mean kids!

You would think that since my kids were at a religious school, that kind of thing wouldn't happen, but it did anyway. You had the kids who lived in the different neighborhoods splitting off, and the carpoolers splitting off from the bus riders, stuff like that. But some of the most well-off parents were the most down-to-earth. Amazingly I found this out when they did a mail fund-raiser last year. I remember volunteering at the elementary level, and becoming friendly with one woman, who I thought had a lot in common with me. I never knew she was one of the top supporters of one of the scholarship funds until last year! And some of the real clique-y kids' parents were so ... ordinary! Goes against what we think, doesn't it?

And it makes me wonder how they will all end up when they're our ages :D.

TTFN.
---
In peace,
Max

In peace,
Max       

Avatar for mom3girls2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2000
In reply to: mommy2boobaby
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 11:36pm

If by real illness she means that acne doesn't really cause people to die, then that's true, but the same can be said for many medical conditions that are just as serious as what she thinks of as "real". There are also many many medical conditions, both acute and chronic, that are even more hidden than acne.

For example, many people where I work think I am lazy for taking the elevator instead of the stairs, especially so because I am overweight. But I have a chronic problem in my left foot, and something unrelated in my right knee, and both conditions can cause my legs to buckle suddenly; I'd like to avoid falling on the stairs, though, so I use the elevator, even for one flight. If I had to take the stairs, which I do when we have fire drills, I walk so slowly to be careful, that I'd lose much work time during a typical day! My dh is a cardiac patient, and he's only 47yo. You wouldn't know it to look at him out in public, though -- another hidden condition.

Acne, if it's severe, can definitely take it's toll on someone's life and emotional well-being, as we all know.

Prayers to your dd, Dary. TTFN.
---
In peace,
Max

In peace,
Max